Yeah fine, believe what you want to believe but I never said vampires couldn't go in the sunlight. I said we don't LIKE the sunlight. It's bad for our skin, I just make that noise and run away from it when we go outside because I just...I hate it that much. It's gross, *HISSSSSSSSSSSSS. This doesn't prove anything! Close those drapes and about that ice cream cone, that doesn't prove anything either. I never said I ONLY drink blood, I said I MOSTLY drink blood. You never see it because obviously I don't do it in front of you, when I am around you I drink beer, I eat cobb salad sometimes and YES I have some Oreos or a half-moon or a muffin at my desk but I drink human blood ALL the time when I am at home. So, you know what...forget about me drinking this blood you got me. Not because I don't love blood, obviously I love blood but I am not going to just drink this to prove a point to you. That's GROSS by the way, bringing me a vial of blood to drink. I said I was hungry for blood as a joke, I didn't think you'd pull some out of your pocket. I already drank a bunch of blood in the bathroom and just didn't tell you. I don't tell you every time I drink someone's blood, so get out of here with these allegations. I told you, I don't feel the need to prove myself. Back in my old town I used to have to turn into a bat all the time for people just to prove that I was a vampire, it was demeaning. That's why you've never seen me do it, I promised myself I'd only turn into a bat when no one's around. So f**k off with this judgement Stephanie!
Here's what I've been working on recently. I have a show I wrote called DOPE that's a cross between Ghostbusters and the X-Files, I already wrote up a full pitch package along with a pilot episode and now I just spent some time re-writing and finishing the second episode for the series.
DOPE – The Department
of Paranormal Events is the low level branch of the provincial government where
Investigations and Removals specialists Rooney, Ervin and Randal are pitted up
against ghosts, goblins, demons, vampires, zombies and more ghosts all for less
pay than the city gives to their average parking enforcement officer.
DOPE is a story about
a lower level branch of the provincial government dedicated to protecting the
public against paranormal pests. It’s about a group of ghost exterminators
trained in haunting investigations, possessions, vampirification and
zombification cases, hobgoblin removal and anything else their miserable
supervisor Mr. Dickmeyer demands of them. Rooney, Ervin and Randal find
themselves in life threatening situations almost every day, facing off against
creatures thousands of times more dangerous than anything your typical
exterminator can imagine. Because the debate about the existence of the paranormal
will always be ongoing with many people still unconvinced skeptics; the
Department of Paranormal Events is the least funded branch of the government;
meaning our guys are risking their lives for a little under $25,000 a year.
DOPE Episode 2: Vampires - Rooney, Ervin and
Randall are chased into a small cabin by a pack of vampires and Randall has
been bitten. They can hold up until sunset when the vampires would retreat but
if they wait that long then Randall will die and become one of them. He needs
the vampire virus cure which is in the standard DOPE medical kit in their car
and he needs it ASAP.
Rooney and Randall risk certain death at the hands of a ravenous pack of wild
vampires. Electing to save Randal; Ervin constructs a plan to draw the
attention of the vampires from within the cabin allowing Rooney to escape out
back. Rooney has to race through a kilometer of vampire territory at night to
find their car and get it back to Ervin who was left to fortify and protect the
cabin from a pack of strong and frenzied vampires who are determined to tear
their way inside where Randall lays helpless and dying on the floor; bound to
turn into a deadly vampire himself at any minute.
EXT – Forest/Night
Rooney, Ervin and Randal are
running through a forest towards a lonely, secluded little cabin. It's in a
dilapidated condition, all three men are panicked and show signs of a struggle.
Randall is wearing a blood soaked rag around his arm.
Rooney runs right up to the house and slams himself hard against the door,
bouncing off and hurting himself, a beat later Ervin smashes through the front
door. Rooney runs inside. Randall stumbles up to the door and almost passes out
right at the doorway, Ervin catches him and pulls him in, Rooney slams the door
and presses his body up against it.
Rooney
WHY DID YOU BRING RANDAL?
Ervin
I didn't know there would be that many!
Randall
Dammit Rooney I can take care of myself.
Rooney
You got BIT Randal
Randal's arm has been bitten, it's gruesome.
The inhuman sound of shrieking can be heard getting louder and louder, closer
and closer. Ervin inspects Randall's bite.
Ervin
We have to get this treated immediately, the infection has already started.
Randall
Can we cure me before I turn into one of them?
Ervin takes a small plastic
package out of his pocket and tears it open. It’s a syringe. He gives Randal a
shot.
Ervin
I am going to give you a shot of anti-venom, it’ll help slow the spread
of the virus but it’s not a cure. We need to get him to a hospital asap or
he’ll turn.
Rooney
If we go outside, we DIE!
Ervin
If we stay here HE dies.
Rooney presses a button on his
shoulder mounted radio.
Rooney
DOPE this is Rooney, I need assistance. My team and I were assigned to a
vampire removal but there were WAY more than you said there’d be. Randal got
bit! We need -
A voice comes over the radio, it's automated.
Voice on the radio
'Due to a high number of calls your request has been put in priority
sequence, please wait for the next available operator.'
The three men share a look.
Ervin
How many are there?
Rooney looks out the window of the small cabin, as far as he can see there are
zombie-like vampires pouring out of the woods towards the cabin. The sheer
number of the vampire force makes Rooney's face go white.
DOPE is a show that I came up with and like to write episodes for. Imagine Ghostbusters except it's all government controlled. The Department of Paranormal Events (DOPE) is a low level branch of the government where the three protagonists work.
Anyway check out this one episode premise because I am proud of it:
Rooney, Ervin and Randall are chased into a small cabin by a pack of
vampires and Randall has been bitten. They can hold up until sunset when
the vampires would retreat but if they do that then Randall would die
and become one of them. He needs the vampire virus cure which is in the
standard DOPE medical kit in their car and he needs it ASAP.
Rooney and Randall risk certain death at the hands of a ravenous pack of
wild vampires. Electing to save their friend Ervin constructs a plan to
draw the attention of the vampires from within the cabin allowing
Rooney to escape out back. Rooney has to race through a kilometer of
vampire territory at night to find their car and get it back to Ervin
who was left to fortify and protect the cabin from a pack of strong and
frenzied vampires who are determined to tear their way inside where
Randall lays helpless and dying on the floor; bound to turn into a
deadly vampire himself at any minute.
F'n Sunday nights, it's pretty much impossible to enjoy them. I know that in about 2 hours I'll have to go to bed and when I wake up my work week resets. Dammit. A big reason that screen writing and filming appeal to me so much is that if I can ever make money off of it; if it can ever become a day-to-day job I feel like it would be a permanent cure for a disease called 'the Mondays'. It would be so much fun, I was watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philidelphia, it was the one where Charlie throws Denis in front of a car and he gets his and goes flying. That was their job for that day, to practice pretending to get hit by a car over and over. I process documents.
Anyway here's my page. It's just a little bit of dialogue showing how Rooney has started to get on Randall's nerves with his overbearing protectiveness. The zombie attack is juuuuust about ready to explode.
Rooney,
Randall and Ervin are in the hall .
ERVIN
Rooney
what's up with you?
ROONEY
Nothing's
up...just thought you might want some help.
RANDALL
With
a zombie inspection? Y'know you've been watching over my back a lot
lately and I want to know why.
ROONEY
Watching
over you?
ERVIN
I
can see it, you did lock him in a closet last night when we were
fighting that mummy.
RANDALL
A
MUMMY Rooney, they're the most fragile things in the world.
ROONEY
Some
of them have special powers
RANDALL
Rooney
your the most incompetent person in the department, I should be the
one breathing down your neck. Only PHARAOHS have powers!
ERVIN
Look
I have to get back, you guys need to get that zombie out of here.
They
walk back into class, Rooney and Randall begin to inspect the zombie,
first getting her subdued and then starting the inspection with her
hands. In the back the Creepy Recruit looks a little freaked out, no
one notices the slight hue of red around his mouth. His lip is
bleeding.
RANDALL
No
fresh skin underneath the fingernails, that's good. She didn't get a
hold of anyone.
Continued....
They're coming.
Well, not Marvel Zombies but yeah, the zombie outbreak starts next entry.
Oh man how good was Marvel Zombies, oh and you know what else was WAY better than you'd expect? Wolverine vs the Marvel Universe.
Ok, I am starting a new script now that will be about zombies. Not the undead kind.
I am thinking more about the Rage zombies from 28 Days Later.
It's another episode of DOPE (going to be doing DOPE for a while), here's my summary:
'Ervin is training a batch of new hires on how to safely interact with zombies, when he turns his back for one second it's a full blown zombie outbreak in the lower levels of the Department of Paranormal Events.'
Or something like that, I'll probably end up re-wording it later.
PG 1
INT- A SMALL ROOM
A female zombie is chained to a desk, shestumbles forward; hungry for flesh but is stopped by the chain.Her face still has smears of blood and make-up on it.
Thecamera pans back to reveal a classroom of D.O.P.E recruits sitting onthe floor, Ervin is at the front of the class teaching.
ERVIN
Thekey to handling zombies is not to panic, remember that only in largenumbers should they ever be a real threat. As I am aboutto demonstrate as long as you keep your distance and use theproper tools; you should have no problems subduing yourzombies.
RECRUIT #1
Sir, why don’t we just put thezombies down? I mean they’re already dead aren’tthey?
ERVIN
Incorrect, there are two subspecies of zombie.Rage zombies and the living-dead zombies. Rage zombies are livingpeople who’s minds have been infected by a violent neurotoxin.They are faster than dead zombies and often times more dangerous.It’s policy that since rage virus’s are at time’s treatable;we’re to treat all zombies as though they’re living untilinspection can reveal otherwise. This woman is believed to be avictim of the rage virus, notice the slightly pinkish hue of her skinand lack of visible injury…these are signs of life.
This womanis still alive.
CREEPY RECRUIT
So…theydon’t have brains? They can’t talk or say no…or…
ERVIN
Theyhave brains but their brains are fixated on one thing, violence. The only thing she wants to do is tear everyone in this room apart and eat all of our insides.
Ervinpicks up a pole with a collar on it much like a dog catcher’spole.
So here's my final first rough draft, there's still a lot I want to change but I am comfortable using this as a working copy to build on. I went back and changed some dialogue and added the feature of Rooney being extra protective of Randall (which will play back to something that happens in the script previous to this).
It's a mix of this:
GHOSTBUSTERS TRAILER (1984)
and this:
30 DAYS OF NIGHT TRAILER
Rooney,Ervin and Randall are running through a forest towards a lonely,secluded little cabin. It's in a dilapidated condition, all three menare panicked and show signs of a struggle. Randall is wearing a bloodsoaked rag around his arm.
Rooney runs right up to the houseand slams himself hard against the door, bouncing off and hurtinghimself, a beat later Ervin smashes through the front door. Rooneyruns inside. Randall stumbles up to the door and almost passes outright at the doorway, Ervin catches him and pulls him in, Rooneyslams the door and presses his body up against it.
Rooney
WHYDID YOU BRING RANDALL?
Ervin
Ididn't know there would be that many!
Randall
DammitRooney I can take care of myself.
Rooney
Yougot BIT Randall
Randall'sarm has been bitten, it's gruesome.
The sound of a hundredvoices moaning and hissing can be heard getting louder and louder,closer and closer. Ervin inspects Randall's bite.
Ervin
Hehave to get this treated immediately, the infection has alreadystarted.
Randall
Canwe cure me before I turn into one of them?
Ervin
Thebites don't turn you immediately, it takes time for the infection tospread. Randall we need to get your to a hospital right now.
Rooney
Ifwe go outside, we DIE!
Ervin
Ifwe stay here HE dies.
Rooney
DOPEthis is Rooney. We need -
Avoice comes over the radio, it's automated
Voiceon the radio
'Dueto a high number of calls your request has been put in prioritysequence, please wait for the next available operator.'
Thethree men share a look
Ervin
Howmany are there?
Rooneylooks out the window of the small cabin, as far as he can see thereare zombie-like vampires pouring out of the woods towards the cabin.The sheer number of the vampire force makes Rooney's face go white.
Rooney
Lots.
Fadeout. Title.
SCENE 2:
INT – Cabin – Night
Asmall cabin, the guys have barricaded the door with what littlefurniture they have, Rooney is pressed against the door holding backthe vampires trying to get in. Ervin is tending to Randall's wounds.
Randal
Canyou keep them from getting in that door?
Rooney
Probablynot
Ervin
Youhave to, everything we have; we used to barricade the windows.
Rooney
Maybeif you didn't break the lock...
Ervin
Wehad to get in didn't we?
Rooney
Wehave to get out, we have to get to the car. Where is it?
Randall
Idon't know, I lost track of it when we started running.
Rooney
Whatdo we have for weapons?
Randall
Ohman, we have our two handed pump action blasters, our ionic poppers,I brought a particle disruptor, some concussion grenades and a bunchof axes.
Ervin
Quickgive me a concussion grenade!
Randall
Allof that's in the car. I have nothing on me.
Ervin
What?
Randall
Whatdo you have?
Ervinsearches his pockets, he finds a lighter.
Rooney
Ok...letmake a torch. Vampires are afraid of fire; right?
Ervin
No
Randall
No
SMASH.A pack of vampires breaks through the window barricade.
Randall
TheWINDOW!
Randalllooks across to see a couple more vampires making their way throughthe window and springs up to re-enforce the window barricade,pressing his body against the old shelves tipped over against thewindow keeping out the invading vampires.
Thevampire in the room lets out a frightening hiss. Rooney jumps up tostand beside Ervin. At the door a hand pokes through the opening, thevampires threaten to break through in a second, Rooney jumps back tothe door and seals it. Ervin on his own has to deal with thevampire.
The vampire pounces on him, Ervin has a deathgrip on it around it's throat and he's pushing it away from his body;keeping it's fangs just out of reach of his jugular. Rooney andRandall are both spending every bit of their focus keeping the restof the monsters outside.
Ervin reverses the position withthe vampire, he's on top and he begins to ground-and-pound it. Thevampire takes a beating but it's incredibly resilient, he screechesat Ervin and mule kicks him across the room. Ervin is slow to get up,in the background we see the vampire pounce at him once again.
Ervinspins around and catches the vamp underneath the armpit and aroundthe head and 'Rock Bottom's him through a nearby table.
Thetable shatters and Ervin grabs a broken fragment. He reaches to thesky and as the vampire roars he strikes down and stabs it in theheart. The vampire starts to glow.
Rooney
Youdid it! He's going to turn into dust now.
Pop.The vampire explodes and his entrails cover the room and all 3 men.All three men take a beat to spit vampire bits out of their mouths.
Voiceon the Radio
'Due to a high number of calls your request has beenput in priority sequence, please wait for the next availableoperator.'
Scene3
INT – Cabin - Night
Ervinis nursing his wounds, Rooney and Randall are manning the barricades.We can hear the vampires howling outside. Rooney takes notice.
Rooney
Thatcan't be good. Do you think they're signaling for more tocome?
Ervin
Eitherthat or they can smell our blood and it's driving them into afrenzy.
Rooney
Ervinthis door isn't going to hold and Randall's passing out at the windowbarricade. We need to make a break for it while he can stillmove.
Randall
It'sabout 4 hours until daybreak, we need to hold out here for as long aswe can.
Rooney
Youreally think we can make it 4 hours?
Ervindoesn't answer, the look on his face is one of skeptisism anddoubt.
It's silent for a beat
SLAM!The door is hit hard, Rooney flies across the room. Another smash andthe door gives way. Several vampires enter the doorway.
Ervintosses Rooney a piece of wood for a weapon. Just then the windowbarricade smashes apart and Randall is pulled outside.
Rooney
Iam going after Randall!
Ervin
Wait Rooney we need a plan!
Rooney
He'lldie!
Rooneysprings out the window. Ervin backs up as 5 vampires stalk him like apack of wolves, circling and surrounding him.
EXT– Outside the cabin window.
Randall is being dragged awayfrom the cabin by 2 vampires, they drag him a few feet and then turnon him, he kicks and claws at them in an attempt to break theirgrasp.
Rooney comes bounding out the window with a sharp chunkof wood in his hands. The vampires let Randall go.
ROONEY
Randall,RUN!
Randalltakes off into the woods. Rooney stands his ground as they start tostalk closer to him. They're within a few feet, Rooney hunkers downready or a fight, then looks at the small piece of wood thatconstitutes his only weapon and his look of confidence fades.
ROONEY
Randallwait UP!
Rooneybursts past the vampires and runs off in the direction that Randallwent.
INT – The cabin
The vampires growl and hissand close in on Ervin, Ervin removes his shirt and gets primal.
ERVIN
ComeON!
Thevampires close in on him, three hang back while two of them pounceson him. He kicks it in the chest and sends it flying, the other takeshim to the ground. It stands over him animalistically and shows himhis fangs. Ervin shoves the lighter in it's mouth and uppercuts it,the lighter explodes inside of it's mouth; lighting on fire.
Inan instant the other one is back on top of him and digs it's clawsinto his chest in a tight grip and pulls him close, as it bites downon his neck; Ervin screams loudly.
EXT– the woods – night
Randallis racing through the woods, he can hear that vampires are on histrail. He can hear Ervin scream in the background.
Randall
Ervin!
Hestops. He can hear something rushing towards him, it's too close forhim to do anything about. It's about to hit him, he braces.
ROONEY
RANDALLMOVE!!
Rooneybursts through the brush and grabs Randall, the pair sprint. Rightbehind Rooney are the two vampires. They run downhill, the vampiresare bloodthirsty and only paces behind them.
Randall
Rooneydo see that?
Upahead is a precipice, a long rigid drop off of a cliff and they'rerunning out of real estate as they bound closer and closer to it'sedge with the vampires hot on their heels.
Rooney
RANDALLCAN VAMPIRES FLY?
RANDALL
What?
ROONEY
CANVAMPIRES FLY??
RANDALL
NO!
ROONEY
Good
Rooneyruns off to the side, out of frame. Randall sees Rooney and turnstowards him to ask him where he's going, he stumbles and falls.Rolling right down to the bottom of the cliff near the edge. The twovampires are right on top of him. Randall stumbles to his feet andbacks up right to the edge of the cliff, the two vampires are in afrenzy and only feet away.
One leans over Randall and opensit's mouths, Something catches it's eye off camera and it's turn andgrowls. With the speed of hurdler Rooney comes flying feet first intothe vampire with a powerful boot right off the cliff.
Thesecond vampire springs onto Rooney and digs into him with it's claws,Rooney manages to kick it off of him and the vampire staggersbackward and trips over the still prone Randall and falls over theedge of the cliff.
The two men sit for a moment and catchtheir breath
Voiceon the Radio
'Your call is being forwarded to one of ouroperators, please stand by.'
Hello, please state your name andthe nature of your emergency.
Randall
This is RandallEdmonds, employee number 5846541-1 I have a government employee indanger and I need assistance immediately. Listen carefully, I needyou to access vehicle registration number G5EDD43 and do a manualoverride. I want you to set off it's alarm system for me. NOW.
Voiceon the Radio
One moment. I see this vehicle was signed out byRooney Rodman, I will have to fill out a 'failure of care' form whichI will need him to sign, a 'failure of care' report will remain onrecord for 6 months.
Randall
Sorry to add to your fileRooney
Thesound of an alarm screams, the two sit up quickly. The car is closeby.
INT - CABIN
Ervinis in a deadly fight with the remaining 5 vampires, he's not doingwell. The vampires surround him, he's badly hurt but still swinging.The blood that's pouring out of him is driving the vampires into afrenzy like a pack of hungry sharks, they fight over him which allowshim a moment's distraction. He readies his piece of shattered woodbehind his back.
The largest vampire wins the battle ofdominance and the right to eat Ervin, Ervin is on his knees and hasalmost nothing left, the vampire grabs him by the throat and getsnose to nose with him. He senses Ervin is resigned to his fate andgoes in for the kill.
Ervin grabs the vamps by the back ofthe head and pulls him closer, in one swift motion he plunges thestake upwards into the vampire's chest. It lets out an agonized howland explodes.
Ervin falls back, the other vampires areexcited and all move on him.
The room lights up, the vampirescringe. It's not the sun, it's headlights from a car. The headlightsilluminate the two figures standing in front, silhouetted from thelight.
They're strapped from head to toe, literally coveredin guns and weaponry. Ervin raises his head with the last of hisenergy, and looks up at them. The guns charge up with a high pitchedhum. Ervin crawls towards thelight, he's out of it.
Ervin
Areyou angels?
Rooney
Yes.
Randall
Ervinwe've got doctors on standby, don't move. Rooney, four targets.
Rooney
4
Heblasts one which explodes and covers the walls in bright red gore,then does the same with the others.
Rooney
3
2
Helines up the last vampire
Rooney
1
Thevampire screeches violently at him before springing forth in hisdirection, Rooney falls back and blasts. The explosion of guts coverhim again.
Ervinpasses out, when he wakes up he's in a hospital bed. He sees Rooneybeside him.
INT– RECOVERY ROOM
Ervin
Rooney...youstayed with me?
Rooney
No,I was just leaving actually. I was here to check on Randall.
Ervin
Howis he?
Rooney
Betterthan you, he only got bit once.
Rooneyturns to leave again
Rooney
Iam heading home, I was the only one to come out of this withoutneeding a sick leave so I am being rewarded with an early, doubleshift tomorrow.
Ervin
Sorry man.
Rooney
HeyIrvin...keep an eye on Randall, check in on him.
Ervin
He'sfine
Rooneyis looking into the hall transfixed on something, he sees a secondvision of Randall dead, bloodied and staring back at him.
Ervin
You don't have to worry about him.
***EDIT OCTOBER 7th 2012 - upon reading this again I gave it a rethink, if I ever come to revise this I would completely revamp it. I would rewrite it like this:
Rooney, Ervin and Randall are chased into a small cabin by a pack of vampires and Randall has been bitten. They can hold up until sunset when the vampires would retreat but if they do that then Randall would die and become one of them. He needs the vampire virus cure which is in the standard DOPE medical kit in their car and he needs it ASAP.
Rooney and Randall risk certain death at the hands of a ravenous pack of wild vampires. Electing to save their friend Ervin constructs a plan to draw the attention of the vampires from within the cabin allowing Rooney to escape out back. Rooney has to race through a kilometer of vampire territory at night to find their car and get it back to Ervin who was left to fortify and protect the cabin from a pack of strong and frenzied vampires who are determined to tear their way inside where Randall lays helpless and dying on the floor; bound to turn into a deadly vampire himself at any minute.
