A story writing blog

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Before Watchmen: Rorschah Review and My Page

I read the Before Watchmen: Rorschach installment today, I guess it's common knowledge but I don't know if it occurs to everyone that we haven't seen ANY of this character since the final Watchmen issue and that was back in the 80's. He only had the 12 issues (or one graphic novel) of the Watchmen to make an impact in the public consciousness and he did. It's impressive. He really is one of those universally loved characters that made an immediate impact on you, you just wanted  to see more and more of him and as you read the Watchmen you'd be most excited about his scenes. In my opinion the Watchmen became popular on the strength of his character, he was certainly the stand out.

He's a warped variation of the Question (also a very cool character) made a little more interesting with a more violent form of the psychosis that overwhelms both characters. He was always one of th..........I am just now noticing that on that cover his rorschach mask makes a visual of himself with his own little rorschach mask and I hate it. How stupid is that? That's a little overly clever buddy.

The issue itself actually didn't need to be made, it offers absolutely nothing more about the character that wasn't said in the originals. I mean it's a good enough issue but that's more because Rorschach is f'n cool and it's just fun to see him do terrible things to people.

Basically it's a standard story about him trying to track the source of some street drugs while also keeping tabs on a serial killer. He meets someone who feels a little too Super Villainy from my liking and it pretty much ends there. If that sounds boring...

It's not.

I'll check out the rest of the Before Watchmen series before I weigh in on whether or not they should have dusted these characters off or left them alone. Tomorrow I'll check out Nite Owl.

Anyway, here's my page. When we last left Rooney he was hurt and hiding from two zombies.



As the Zombie gets closer to Rooney it's distracted by the arrival of the first zombie. The two zombified workmen run off down a darkened corridor.

When it's safe to move, Rooney creeps forwards towards the classroom. There's blood all over the halls leading up to it, in the distance all around him he hears screams and commotion.

He opens the classroom door and sees no bodies but lots and lots of blood. The room is covered in a sticky dark red.

He hears a sound down the hall, there are several zombies coming his way. It's time to move. He races down hall to the main exit only to find it locked down.

I am pausing for one second to point out that as I write this my neighbors kid is SCREAMING off the balcony. It's driving me nuts.

The zombies give chase, he runs for his life but the two marauding zombies catch up with him, He never stops trying to run even as he's being grabbed and tugged at by the monsters. He's taken down but weaves and fights his way our of being bitten.

F**K it, this sucks
Uggg, I hate where this is going. I could stand to lose everything after the moment the Ervin screamed "RUN" and I know it. I was just seeing where I could go with keeping Rooney on the outside. As I am writing this though I am starting to realize that these basement halls would have to be HUGE for this story to work this way. It's also turning out to be a lot longer than I wanted it to be, I am not aiming for a half hour TV show here, this is likely going to go on the back burner for a while and when it's revived it's probably going to be in the form of a series of internet shorts...so I need to make this thing move a lot faster.

I think I know how too...I'll try to fix it up tomorrow and move on because the film team I work with is more immediately interested in shooting a bunch of short film (5 mins max) and I am looking forward to tackling those.

Anyway that's my page, that counts!

Gonna Try Something New

Well, I have a new idea. I am going to try to teach myself to draw, at least well enough to be able to make viable storyboards. It's just something else to try.

I also want to address why it's been so hard for me to post daily, this whole thing is a work in progress. I hate that my posts are so infrequent but it's difficult when you work 8 hrs a day at a mind numbing, unsatisfying, corporate, defeating job like mine. Writing a script this way is difficult, some days you just don't have ideas. It's a lot easier to post like this than it is to write a page of a specific script but that's the (awesome) blog name I chose so too bad.

I am going to try to be better, I want Sept to be the month where I get on track.


APE and ADE.

...actually ADECD

A Drawing Every Couple Days...with my workload, that seems more realistic .

Anyway, Goodnight.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Page Views

Generally whenever I see that my page has been viewed I assume automatically that I was the one who viewed it. I approach this blog as though I have absolutely no readers outside of myself but yesterday when I logged on for the first time in ages (my computer broke) I saw the chart indicating page views looking real squiggly. Apparently people have been coming in small numbers to my page, real small numbers mind you but it's encouraged me to try to post more often than I do.

I know it can't be my friends either because so few of them even know I do this, I've kept it pretty secret.


So anyway the idea is to finish up this last script pronto and move on to a series of 2-5 minute shorts of every genre and just work on that for a while.

Ok so lets get back into this, I just re-read what I wrote in my last entry and I am ready to dive in.



The response to Ervin's plea is immediate, an alarm sounds and the main doors are locked down.

The recruits are terrified and are pressed up as close against the wall as their bodies will allow, a gnashing female zombie is just inches from getting a hold of one of them. She's single minded in her focus, not turning her attention to the only reason she can't get to the terrified recruits. Randal is holding onto the chain attached to the collar on her neck, he's struggling mightily.

Ervin springs onto the zombie attacking Mr Gomez; grabbing him by the waist and throwing him out through the door and into the halls. He slams the door. Mr. Gomez is screaming, he's dying. He spits up a lot of blood and dies.

The moment is silent, the room for a small instance is completely silent except for the zombie's snarls. Mr Gomez bursts back to his feet loudly, Randal looses his grip on the chain, the female zombie grabs one of the recruits and tears him open. Zombie Mr. Gomez is battering Ervin and trying to bite him, while fighting him off Ervin can only do one thing. Only utter one order.


Back in the halls Rooney's forehead is dripping blood, the zombie that attacked him bludgeoned him but he avoided being bitten. He's hurt.

He runs through a familiar looking hall, it's close to the class room. Behind Rooney we can hear the zombie, it's a bit of a distance away, Rooney is lumbering forwards trying not to be seen and not to make any noise. He's tense.

He hears a human sounding hiss/growl in front of him and he drops in a panic in the darkened hallway, he hides behind some boxes only feet away from the zombie that killed Gomez, his face and body still covered in blood.

Rooney covers himself as quietly as he can, he's petrified. The zombie snarls and looks around the room slowly, it heard something. It's eyes resemble a crazed serial killer in the throws of a frenzy. The zombie slowly wanders the room, zig zagging aimlessly without thought, without hesitation or fear. It's bold and unpredictable.

to be continued

Ok I am going to stop it there because there are some things I want to do with it...actually I am not sure I even like the second half of this.

Basically I want to set up Rooney having to deal with both zombies in the hall. Have it be a separate story from the chaos that Ervin and Randal are dealing with.

I am going to chew on this.

Monday, August 6, 2012


Randal has a clip board and some medical instruments with him

Hey Ervin, I heard we have an unidentified zombie here.

That's right Randal; tell my recruits how we go about identifying our zombies.

Well we've found that the best method of identifying who these people were was to set up a database of all the zombies we find and make it accessible to everyone in the public that's looking for one of their loved ones. We post descriptions and pictures of the zombies we find and we try to be as detailed as possible for anyone looking. So what I am going to do here is look for any identifying marks like a tattoo or birthmark or a scar, anything that makes identification a little easier.

Randal goes to begin his identification but is stopped by Ervin

Whoa, where's your partner?

I don't need him

Two partners for zombie inspections. That's mandatory.

Then you help me.

Absolutely not, not with a classroom of recruits here. Wait for your backup.

He's been watching over every little thing I do lately, if you want him; go get him. I am starting this inspection.

INT - The halls of the basement.

Randal is walking through the halls towards the classroom, the halls are winding and dark, it's unnerving.

With no warning whatsoever Rooney is pounced upon by a zombified Marty, his eyes are white, his skin has lost the color of life and his mouth is covered in fresh blood.

Rooney is slammed to the ground, the zombie never lets up. It's wild in it's movements; it's without thought. It's a rampaging animal beating Rooney up. He barely, BARELY kicks the zombie away and makes a break for it. He's been heavily battered.

INT - Classroom

Back at the classroom Ervin and Randal are still bickering over his not having his partner with him.

That's it. Mr. Gomez, do you know who Rooney Rodman is? He's in inspections and removals.

Mr. Gomez
Yes, I saw him getting yelled at by Mr. Dickmyer earlier.

Yeah that's him. I need you to go find him for me.

Mr. Gomez

The young recruit Mr Gomez rushes up to the door and opens it. Like a great white shark bursting through the waves to catch a seal the zombie that was Marty's partner bursts through the door and onto him. He never has a chance, his neck is ripped apart by the zombie's teeth. Ervin screams for the rest of the recruits to get back. Randal is startled off his chair and falls into the female zombies. Her restrains slip and she bursts forward after the recruits. She's loose but she drags chains behind her now.

Randal does what he can and quickly grabs hold of her chains, stopping her just short of tearing into one of the recruits.

Ervin runs to the intercom on the wall and screams, his voice is cracking and stricken with panic.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

BULLSHIT. TOTAL SHIT. I am redoing all of it.

Everything I just wrote is shit, total trite shit. I hate it. This episode sucks.

I hate it, it's boring, it's long winded I hate how everything unfolds and it's totally uncreative. F**k me for writing it.

I want to make the zombies more threatening, I want to make the build up more interesting, I want to have more fun with it and for it to stop sucking.

So here, I got so fed up I just started re-writing the whole thing. By the end of my next post I'll have the action jumping.

INT- A Classroom in the basement of DOPE headquarters.

There is nothing more dangerous than a zombie

The camera pans back to reveal about 20 recruits in the class sitting on the floor.

Never mind all this talk about zombies only being dangerous in large numbers, that's not true. Fighting one single zombie is like fighting an angry gorilla. They come at you with everything they have and never tire. They have no fear and never hold back.

There's a knock at the door.

And now you're about to meet one. Aside from being our classroom for today this is also the area where we conduct our zombie inspections. This is where we do a thorough examination of all new zombies to determine their identities so that we can contact families and hopefully bring them closure. Those that don't have families and those who we can't identify are buried in a government funded graveyard.

A female zombie comes bursting through the door, the recruits all jump back. She goes to run at them but is jolted to a stop by the collar around her neck. She has two handlers with her, they have a fight getting her chained to the wall safely. They're scared of her.
You need to WATCH this one. She's out of control, she almost got my partner here. Didn't she Marty?

He turns to his partner (Marty), Marty is hunched over and holding his side, there is a hint of blood on his hand.

HANDLER 2 (Marty)
Yeah. She's a real bitch.

They limp out of the room, Marty is in obvious pain and is holding his side as though to conceal it, there's blood on his hands. The zombie on the wall thrashes about.

INT – the Offices of DOPE

Rooney is looking for Randal and asks a coworker assigned to scheduling and assignments.

Elvis. Have you seen Randal he was supposed to come get me to help him with a zombie inspection?

Oh, he already left. Sorry, I didn't see your name on the form or I would have got you.

Elvis. Always get me when he's called.

Of course, I can try to do that from now on but...the zombie is already in restraints; I really don't think you need to worry.

Don't worry? Do you even know what a zombie is exactly?


Sir, what exactly is a zombie?

Ok well, when you picture a zombie you picture a dead person who wants to bite you. Correct?

Well that's only partially right. The zombie you're picturing isn't your attacker, that's just his vehicle. The zombie is actually just a tiny, microscopic parasite. It makes it's way to the brain once it's in the bloodstream, from there it completely takes over. It's control of it's subject is dominant, they aren't somewhere behind their own eyes witnessing in horror their own action. They're gone completely, once the parasite enters the brain there's absolutely no brainwave activity...

INT-Offices of D.O.P.E

...outside of one single thought.

Elvis is transfixed
What's that?

To bite you.



To tear you open with their teeth. See they reproduce through secretions in the saliva, once it's in your bloodstream they've effectively passed on their seeds. Reproduction, it's the only thing parasites live to do and they attack that task with all the ferocity of an athlete playing in game 7 of a championship series. Even if a host body is killed a parasite can keep the muscles active for up to 9 months. Even after receiving incredible trauma like being cut in half; the zombie can still keep trying to bite you. That's why the only course of action in some cases is the removal of the head or the destruction of the brain.

There's a knock on the door, Randal enters.