A story writing blog

Thursday, August 2, 2012

BULLSHIT. TOTAL SHIT. I am redoing all of it.



Everything I just wrote is shit, total trite shit. I hate it. This episode sucks.

I hate it, it's boring, it's long winded I hate how everything unfolds and it's totally uncreative. F**k me for writing it.

I want to make the zombies more threatening, I want to make the build up more interesting, I want to have more fun with it and for it to stop sucking.

So here, I got so fed up I just started re-writing the whole thing. By the end of my next post I'll have the action jumping.


INT- A Classroom in the basement of DOPE headquarters.

ERVIN
There is nothing more dangerous than a zombie

The camera pans back to reveal about 20 recruits in the class sitting on the floor.

ERVIN
Never mind all this talk about zombies only being dangerous in large numbers, that's not true. Fighting one single zombie is like fighting an angry gorilla. They come at you with everything they have and never tire. They have no fear and never hold back.


There's a knock at the door.

ERVIN
And now you're about to meet one. Aside from being our classroom for today this is also the area where we conduct our zombie inspections. This is where we do a thorough examination of all new zombies to determine their identities so that we can contact families and hopefully bring them closure. Those that don't have families and those who we can't identify are buried in a government funded graveyard.

A female zombie comes bursting through the door, the recruits all jump back. She goes to run at them but is jolted to a stop by the collar around her neck. She has two handlers with her, they have a fight getting her chained to the wall safely. They're scared of her.
HANDLER 1
You need to WATCH this one. She's out of control, she almost got my partner here. Didn't she Marty?

He turns to his partner (Marty), Marty is hunched over and holding his side, there is a hint of blood on his hand.

HANDLER 2 (Marty)
Yeah. She's a real bitch.

They limp out of the room, Marty is in obvious pain and is holding his side as though to conceal it, there's blood on his hands. The zombie on the wall thrashes about.

INT – the Offices of DOPE

Rooney is looking for Randal and asks a coworker assigned to scheduling and assignments.

ROONEY
Elvis. Have you seen Randal he was supposed to come get me to help him with a zombie inspection?

ELVIS
Oh, he already left. Sorry, I didn't see your name on the form or I would have got you.

ROONEY
Elvis. Always get me when he's called.

ELVIS
Of course, I can try to do that from now on but...the zombie is already in restraints; I really don't think you need to worry.

ROONEY
Don't worry? Do you even know what a zombie is exactly?

INT – BASEMENT CLASSROOM

RECRUIT
Sir, what exactly is a zombie?

ERVIN
Ok well, when you picture a zombie you picture a dead person who wants to bite you. Correct?

ERVIN
Well that's only partially right. The zombie you're picturing isn't your attacker, that's just his vehicle. The zombie is actually just a tiny, microscopic parasite. It makes it's way to the brain once it's in the bloodstream, from there it completely takes over. It's control of it's subject is dominant, they aren't somewhere behind their own eyes witnessing in horror their own action. They're gone completely, once the parasite enters the brain there's absolutely no brainwave activity...


INT-Offices of D.O.P.E

ROONEY
...outside of one single thought.

Elvis is transfixed
ELVIS
What's that?

ROONEY
To bite you.


INT-BASEMENT CLASSROOM

ERVIN

To tear you open with their teeth. See they reproduce through secretions in the saliva, once it's in your bloodstream they've effectively passed on their seeds. Reproduction, it's the only thing parasites live to do and they attack that task with all the ferocity of an athlete playing in game 7 of a championship series. Even if a host body is killed a parasite can keep the muscles active for up to 9 months. Even after receiving incredible trauma like being cut in half; the zombie can still keep trying to bite you. That's why the only course of action in some cases is the removal of the head or the destruction of the brain.

There's a knock on the door, Randal enters.

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