A story writing blog

Monday, March 18, 2013

My President's Choice Old Fashion Dijon Mustard Ad.

I decided to try a new kind of writing just to see what kind of advertisement I could come up with for one item chosen at random from my fridge.

Here's what I came up with in 10 minutes.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Time a Bully Had Me Cornered In The Washroom and My Ballsy Escape.

This story goes all the way back to when I was in grade 2. I am not sure how old that would make me but 6 feels about right, I was a tiny kid, chubby face, happy, unkempt hair, real pick-on-able. The kind of kid that this jackass we called Tommy Toomey loved to target. Tommey Toomey was our class's bully, he was several grades older than us and not very popular amongst kids his own age. He spent his recesses chasing down little kids ten times smaller than him like a goddamn Tyrannosaurus, and he got his nickname from a movie about kids who can jump into a stamps and be transported to wherever the stamp was from and unless I am mistaken; to whatever time the picture on the stamp was taken. It was called 'Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler' and as I look that up just now for the first time in about two decades am smacked in the face with the fact that I am totally remembering his name wrong. Was it Tommy Tricker that we called him? It must have been. Ok, so anyway Tommy Tricker the little a**hole liked to beat me up.

That's the set up for the most balsy, bravest, most hardcore thing I've ever done.

One day I found myself in the boys washroom, happily alone and having a pee. I finished up and because even back then I knew it was gross not to; I washed my hands and dried up. Before I could leave; the door opened and I heard the stupid voice of Tommy Tricker coming in, I had enough time to run back and give myself space before he saw me but not enough to hide. When Tricker saw me his eyes lit up. Not long before he was on top of my friend Mark, beating him up. I ran to the rescue and pushed him off, I grabbed Mark and we ran. He screamed threats of revenge and now he had me cornered in the washroom. He stomped towards me, telling me how dead I was and peppering me with insults. I knew this was serious. As I was backing up a plan formed in my mind.

The doors to the stalls swing outward, if I could lure him into place I could grab a hold of the door and shotgun it into his face. I was 6, remember that. I backed up, baiting in Tommy by asking for mercy, and begging him to leave me alone. That's like catnip to a bully, he kept coming. I SPECIFICALLY remember plotting out a plan that involved not looking at the door as I backed up, waiting for it to cross my peripheral vision before I made my move for fear of giving myself away and spoiling my one and only chance to escape. 

Finally Tommy stepped into place, without turning my head I reached for the door. I played my part perfectly, Tommy had no chance to react. The door hit that kid so hard it knocked him right off his feet, I annihilated him. I ran. As I sprung forward the heap on the floor that used to be Tommy Tricker started screaming death threats at me. I could still hear them as I rounded the corner into my classroom to safety. I was 6!

The best part is that he never did get his revenge, he left school not long after.

"Young Ralph James and his scheming friend Tommy Tricker collect stamps. But when Tommy snatches a rare stamp, Ralph discovers the secret of stamp travel to take him around the world and bring back the 75-year gone traveller Charles Merriweather."
That...that was a real movie someone made. 

Here's my page for today, it's the next scene for my horror script which I am patching together. 

Daytime - Below deck

The next morning's light fills the boat's small living space from above, amongst the mess all over the floor it's hard to see Darcy hidden in a darkened corner. She hasn't slept a wink, she's a nervous wreck. She's holding a knife close in hand. The sun comes right through her window and hits her in the face, the bright white light prompts her to move. She make her way above deck.

It's a nice day, there's a strong wind causing waves to bounce off her boat and rock it, she makes her way to the bow. It's covered in a black slime, there are deep scratches all over the boat. Darcy takes the time to scan the boat for supplies, she has plenty of food to last her a while, all sorts of tools, fishing equipment, first aid kits and a flare gun. Cade made she to be well stocked, he took good care of her. She tries the radio again and again but gets nothing but static and silence.

The wind slams the sail behind her, the sail is still down but the wind is strong enough to slam the jib against the taut rope tying it down. Darcy knows she can't waste this chance, the wind is strong and this gives her an opportunity to get moving. She has no training but can gather that the first thing she needs to do is to untie the ropes holding the rig in place so that she can begin to raise the sail. It's not easy for her but she figures out how to get everything lose and untied. One it's loose she runs over to the rope and starts to raise the sails slowly, she gets a quarter of the way up before the wind catches the sail, slamming the whole rig back and forth.

Darcy rushes to solve the problem before the violent slamming causes the sail to break apart, something is loose that's supposed to hold the jib in place but she can't get a hold of it. The sails swings around and collides with her, sending her flying in into the water.

Darcy hits the water and sinks slowly before she comes to seconds later, the blow rattled her. The water is frothing and hard to see in, beneath her is dark blue water giving way to blackness and all around her is blue. Darcy sees her boat and swims towards it, but doesn't seem to be getting any closer. She surfaces to see the boat moving away from her, though to sail isn't up the wind and movement of the water are carrying her boat, her only lifeline away from her. Darcy races forward, swimming after the boat as it quickly drifts away, the look on her face is one of terror. The boat is always just out of reach, she's wondering how long she can keep going.

As she races forward she sees something out of the side of her eye. Something moving even faster than her, it's coming upward from below. It's hard to see, just a shadow but she can definitely see that its something moving towards her. She screams underwater and pushes herself ever harder, the boat is once again JUST out of reach and the shadowy figure is getting closer, it's big. She reaches forward with all of her might and grabs hold of a lose rigging hanging just over the side. She pulls with every last ounce of strength she has and flings her exhausted body over the side. She leans over the side staring into the water, and sees a figure shoot past the boat. The way it moves is foreign to her, the creature has long fins, sharp edges; a violent look to it. It startles her and she falls back, she's too exhausted to move.

In the distance she sees a splash, a long thin fin breaks the surface. Darcy passes out.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Imagine Being Stranded in the Ocean and Something Underwater is Stalking You.

So I am piecing this horror script called 'Lurking' together out of order, it's about a woman who finds herself stranded alone on a small boat in the middle of the ocean being stalked by a scary creature in the water.

- Thomas Holler

Day - Interior/Boat

Darcy wakes up to find herself alone again, the storm has stopped and the water has settled. There's a soft rocking and the sound of a calm ocean gently splashing against her boat. The door topside is open and gives frame to soft rays of sunlight as the day breaks, Darcy heads upstairs to find Cade.

When she gets to the top the disbelief hits her immediately, she can't see Cade. It only takes a few panicked seconds for her to search the small boat, he's nowhere to be found. She runs out onto the bow, her head spinning. He has to be in the water, he HAS to be in the water. She screams his name; again and again at the top of her lungs until her throat is coarse.


Silence. Darcy is frozen where she stands, silently begging Cade to show himself. She runs over the the radio; turning it on but failing to get a signal, she goes back into the boat and tears it apart, looking for anything but finding nothing, no sign of where Cade went. She cries and screams until finally passing out from the stress.

Evening - Interior/Boat - It's getting dark

It's much later in the day, Darcy is curled up in a ball on the floor. She's wide awake and silently mouthing something inaudible. The room behind her is torn apart. She's broken, staring off into space trying to keep herself together.

A large splash is heard in the water near her boat, Darcy springs to life and runs to the bow of the ship; she calls out to Cade but there's still no response. The splashing came from about 20 ft away but it's too dark for her to see anything clearly. She frantically searches the boat until she finds a flashlight and races back to the bow to shine the light where she thinks she heard the splashing. She scans the water, her desperation and sense of panic is evidenced by the noticeable shaking of her light.

The light hangs on the water and catches a glimpse of something that disappears in an instant. It startles Darcy off her feet and she almost drops the light in the water, she steadies herself and shines the light back on the water. She refuses to believe what she saw, her mind races with possibilities; looking for an alternative explanation for what she thinks she saw. A face. A face of something in the water watching her, with large fish-like eyes and teeth.

In the distance she hears the strange sound of a high pitched clicking, the same sounds she heard on the first night only this time much, much closer.

Imagine this coming at you and you're not Aquaman. Unfortunately.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Horror Movie Idea. Don't Steal It.

I am too trusting. Please don't steal this idea, if anyone wants to hear more about it or even work with me on it then hit me up. This is my first draft, there's a lot I wan to add.


Logline: Stranded on a small boat in the middle of the ocean; Darcy's honeymoon has become a nightmare. Her husband has vanished and her boat is being stalked by a terrifying creature in the water.


Darcy and her husband Cade are about to embark on their honeymoon adventure, they plan on taking their small two person sailboat on a trip around the world. Making their way from California they plan on sailing the Southern Pacific route by way of the Pacific Ocean. Darcy isn't experienced but Cade is an avid sailor and has planned this for over a year, he's excited to take his wife on a trip around the world. Darcy is nervous about it but trusts Cade and loves the romantic idea of going on this adventure with the man she loves. Amidst well wishes and jealous congratulations from her friends the two set sail and head away from port, the weather is beautiful and the sun creates a golden glow on the water. By the end of the first day they find themselves all alone on the water, the lights of California are just visible on the horizon. Darcy is amazed by how peaceful it is, her reservations of the trip begin to fade. Cade surprises her with her favorite wine and a picnic on the bow. They make love under the moonlight. As she begins to fall asleep down below deck she hears a strange call off in the distance, something high pitched and clicking. She can't place it but dismisses it because it's so far away.

The next day Darcy wakes up alone, the boat is rocking heavily. She heads above deck and finds Cade working furiously to prepare for an impending storm, he tells her they need to get their sales down and have their emergency equipment ready. She's scared, he tells her not to worry; taking the time on that swaying boat to hold his wife and look deeply into her eyes and kiss her. He tells her again that it will be ok. Her nerves steady and she asks how she can help, he tells her to run down below and bring him his emergency kit. Darcy races down below, finds it and heads back upstairs. On the bow she sees Cade, mouth agape with a disturbed look on his face standing by the edge and staring out into the water. He's scanning the water as though he'd just seen something. His calm demeanor has changed, now he looks startled and nervous. Darcy snaps him back to reality and they get to work.

It's night now and Darcy is in bed below with Cade, the boat is being assaulted violently by the storm outside. Cade is holding Darcy to keep her calm. She closes her eyes and tries to shut it all out. Cade tells her that he’s there with her and she’ll be ok.

The next morning is calm, she wakes up alone in the bed again. Light shines in through the door which has been left open. She gets up and heads topside, when she gets to the top her stomach drops, she's overcome with paralyzing fear and disbelief. She's alone, Cade is nowhere to be seen. Panic sets in immediately,  she races around the small boat looking for him, eyes welling up with tears. She screams for him, she checks the water around her and screams his name at the top of her lungs. No answer. She races to the radio which she doesn't know how to use, she turns the dials desperately begging anyone listening for help. The isolation, the panic all hit her. She stumbles back below deck and falls to the ground unconscious.

It's later in the day and dark out, Darcy is lying in a ball on the floor. She's awake, lying there silently talking to herself; it's deathly silent. She perks up when she hears something on deck, she listens attentively. She hears it again. There's someone walking around up there, it must be CADE! She runs upstairs calling his name but what she sees startles her, she catches a slight glimpse of something slumping off the deck and springing back into the water. She grabs a flashlight and scans the water, shaking. She screams out once again for Cade and swings the light along the water. She catches the movement of something darting back underwater and drops the light in fear. She thinks she saw a face. A face of something, not Cade. She hears the same high pitched clicking that she heard on the first night, only now much, much closer.

Daytime - Darcy goes up deck to find that the boat has been damaged. She tries the radio again but doesn't get a signal, her phone is dead. She scans the boat for supplies. She finds first aid supplies, boating tools, a flare gun, there's enough food to last her a week or two. Cade would have made sure to be well supplied.

She tries to set the sail but isn't sure how. A gust of wind swings the rigging into her, knocking her into the water. She was hit hard and was rattled; underwater she struggles back towards the surface. In the distance she sees something swimming towards her. With every ounce of strength she races to the surface and pulls herself onto the boat. She spins around to see a shark, it missed her by seconds. She's rattled, scared and doesn't know what to do, she's in the most terrifying scenario imaginable and she knows it.

Time passes, it’s getting dark now. Darcy is on the deck sitting by the radio which looks like she's been trying to use it for a while, there are papers around it, a makeshift antenna...Darcy is eating a cereal bar. She hears the sound again, the high pitched clicking of the creature in the near distance, she clutches the flare gun closely. Darcy speaks into the radio. She broadcasts a distress plea to anyone listening. She talks about her boat, it's damage and her situation. She states that she thinks there's something in the water following her, she says that it comes each night, she says she feels like she's going crazy and finally she talks about Cade and how scared she is. There's absolutely no answer. Its starting to get dark. In the distance we hear a high pitched clicking sound. Its getting closer.

It's night, it's black out. Only the moon provides light, the glossy sheen of the boat reflects it into the water directly around the small vessel. It's easy to forget how immense the ocean she's lost in is with so much of it blacked out. Darcy is hiding below deck, she's curled up in a corner and absolutely terrified. She's holding the flare gun closely. She can hear the sounds the creature is making in the water all around her. Its stalking the boat and seems much more active at night. It gets quiet, extremely quiet. Middle of the ocean quiet. She hears the sound of it clawing at and probing the boat, exploring it underneath her. It makes its way up the side and she can hear the sound of it slumping onto the deck. Its topside, she terrified. She can see it's shadows, she can see movement, she can hear it. It's on the bow and it's slamming around. She can hear a squishy crunch and the sound of tearing, the creature screams out. She makes herself as small as she can and disappears into the shadows bellow, clutching her gun.

She wakes up the next morning, and heads upstairs to where the monster was. She finds a LOT of blood and the torn up remains of a shark on her bow. The blood will attract predators, she has to get out of there. She has to get the sail working. She spends the day working on it, as it gets darker she hears the creature's call moving closer and closer, finally as nights draws her sail snaps into place and she starts to move. She tears up, thankful and also finally facing the fact that Cade is never coming back.

Its night. She's on the move and suddenly her boat is slammed. She's sent flying. She screams 'NO', she can't believe it. She thought she left it behind. She's slammed again. Darcy takes to the wheel trying to steer away, it’s an act of desperation; she has no idea where the creature is. She's slammed again and knocked to the ground. She sees her sail come loose and rushes to fix it, it’s so dark and she struggles to repair the sail. She picks up her flashlight and shines it on the tangled rigging. From behind her appears the creature, she spins to shine the light on it but it takes a swing at her. The swipe the creature takes knocks Darcy to the floor and obliterates the rigging of the sail. The sail falls and the creature jumps back into the water. Darcy narrowly avoids being killed by the falling sail. Rigging falls into the water.

Darcy is hurt, she reaches into her waistband and makes sure she has her gun. Suddenly the bow of the ship begins to dip, something is pulling it down with incredible force. The back end of the ship lifts out of the water, the creature is pulling on the rigging. The pole its attached to is damaged, Darcy kicks the pole over and over until it snaps apart and the rigging is pulled underwater. The boat levels. The sail is destroyed, its dawn. Darcy can’t stand up, she’s been battered.

As dawn starts to break the creature is coming. Darcy is laying on her stomach, hurt, she hears the creature board the boat and slump towards her. The creature grabs her from behind and she spins around and puts a flare into the creature's chest, it falls backwards dead and slides into the water.
Its still dark out at the crack of dawn, the broken boat is drifting with Darcy unconscious. The boat comes to a stop, it's hit something and Darcy wakes up. It hit rocks in the middle of the ocean. Darcy looks up to see a very small island, roughly the size of a tennis court and swims towards it. The boat sinks.

On the land she finds the carcasses of all manner of sea creature. She also finds Cade's half devoured body. Behind her she can hear the sounds of the creature, then the sound of others, coming from several different directions. She's on her knees, she doesn't even turn around, a few of the creatures lurch onto the island out of the water and slump towards her. She doesn't turn to look, she has no more fight in her, she's resigned to her fate. She plays with her wedding ring as they get closer. The camera closes on a shot of her wedding ring moments before she's killed for sure.

-Thomas Holler 

I could probably just sell this as a remake of
'Creature from the Black Lagoon'