Lets Finish this! - Tom finishes his horror movie, here's how it ends.

Sooooo...I have no idea how long this movie is. As a script it falls way short of what a typical movie script usually comes in at but there's so little dialogue that's it's hard to gauge. This thing is all action, slow moving tense build ups that play out much slower than they read. Anyway, I'd like to move on to something new so I am packing this thing up. I can always revisit this script and add more later but this is a good starting point that I can show to people to try to get this thing off the ground.

Ok, here's my ending.

You can read the whole script here: LURKING

EXTERIOR - BOAT DECK

As dawn starts to break Darcy is clinging to a what's left of her boat, it's completely dead in the water. The creature that's now circling her has completely destroyed it and for the first time seems to be aware of her presence on the boat. She can hear the excitement in it's sounds, she can sense it's trepidation as it takes it's time to inspect the stalled wreck. Darcy knows she's doomed, there's no more doubt in her mind. Even if the creature were to turn around and leave her, she's still stuck in the middle of the ocean on a boat that's barely held together. The monster's clicking call is frenzied, she freezes. She can hear it scraping against the boat, she can't hide so she stays still. She can hear the splash of something pulling itself out of the water onto the boat, it's dark and she can just make something out from where she's laying. She sees something slump it's way onto the boat, it has dark scaly skin, sharp spines all over it's fins and a large tooth filled mouth. It doesn't walk, it just slumps forward, making its way around the boat. Darcy sits in complete fear. She's defenseless, she lost her flare gun in the chaos from before.

She tries to press her body as firmly against the side of the boat as she can, terrified to make any movements. The creature slumps around the boat, until it comes fully into view. She can see it's eyes, they're black and staring in her direction. The creature isn't sure what it sees, it approaches cautiously, Darcy tries to remain perfectly still in hopes that she won't peak it's interest. The creature slumps closer and closer, it gets very close. The water and slime of the creature drips onto Darcy's skin. The creature looks her up and down, it seems almost as nervous as she is. Curious; it goes in closer, Darcy closes her eyes in fear. The creature takes an exploratory bite into Darcy's shoulder; causing her to jump up screaming. Startled; the monster throws her across the boat. She lands hard, several feet away. Her shoulder is bleeding badly, she's slow to get up and the creature is coming towards her. She gets to her feet just in time to be pulled right back down by the monster who's grabbed a hold of her leg. It pulls her towards it's mouth. Darcy fights with everything she has to free herself but she's no match, her foot inches closer and closer to the creatures giant teeth. Darcy screams out as the creature takes a bite of her foot, she finally pulls it free, losing a large chunk of it in the creature's teeth.

In absolute agony now; Darcy crawls away though the small boat doesn't offer much room to escape to. Darcy leaves a pool of blood behind her with every step forward that she takes, the monster behind her has a taste for blood. Darcy crawls over-top of the sail lying prone on the deck, the monster is steps behind her. She gets a hold of some broken rigging and swing it around, hitting the creature. It's hide is meant to withstand the pressures of the deep sea, it's thick and dense, the blow has no effect. Unfazed; the creature pulls her towards it once again. Darcy claws at the sail, pulling at it in a desperate attempt to escape. She pulls and pulls until she reveals her flare gun hidden underneath. The monster pulls her in close and goes to bite her again, once it's teeth sink into her leg she screams out in pain. This time she fights back; clawing at the creature's eyes and causing it to drop her. Darcy crawls as fast as she can to the flare gun with the hungry monster following behind her, she can barely lift the gun with her torn up shoulder. The creature bears down on her once more, she manages to press the gun to it's neck and pulls the trigger. The flare tears through the monster's neck, burning a cavity deeper and deeper into the monster's throat. It falls to the ground and violently convulses. Flopping it's way back into the water.

Darcy is left alone, completely alone. She's on a broken, slowly sinking boat in the middle of the ocean and she's bleeding out badly. This is it, these moment are her last. The boat slowly drifts on the slow moving water, Darcy starts to lose consciousness. She sees Cade at the wheel of the boat, he looks at her reassuringly. A tear trickles down her cheek, she smiles. She closes her eyes and loses consciousness. Darcy stay unconscious for days while her boat drifts deeper into the ocean.

Darcy's feels the boat bump something, softly at first but then the boat comes to a sudden violent stop. Darcy lifts her head up, gets to her feet and wobbles to the front of the boat, she can't believe her eyes. She's hit land. A tiny island no bigger than a football field hidden away in the middle of all this ocean, the boat is finally finished and taking on water. Darcy hops off the boat and makes her way onto the island. It's barren, almost void of vegetation. Darcy starts to explore, it's rocky and littered with bones. Darcy walks the island, she see's all manner of carcass littered across the rocky landscape. Darcy freezes in her tracks, her face twists into a horrified expression. She breaks down. In front of her is Cade's partially devoured corpse. Behind her she can hear the sounds of the creature, then the sound of others, coming from several different directions. She's on her knees, she doesn't even turn around,she's given up. A few of the creatures lurch onto the island out of the water and slump towards her. She doesn't turn to look, she has no more fight in her, she's resigned to her fate. She plays with her wedding ring as they get closer. The camera closes on a shot of her wedding ring moments before she's killed for sure.

-END-

I am going to finish this damn horror script - LURKING Continued

I am still jamming on this horror script, I am nowhere near meeting a feature length requirement but I am probably just going to wrap this up in a few more pages. There's so little dialogue that it's hard to really say how long this script would play on screen and I can always add more. This will be a sample size script.

Lurking pt. 1-8

-LURKING Pt. 9-

Exterior - Evening

Darcy stands up, she's finally motivated by fear to get her boat moving. Cade isn't coming back, he's gone. The high pitched sounds of the creature penetrate the coming dawn, she runs to her sail. Through trial and error she's finally figured out how to hoist her sail and lock down the rigging, she's not a perfect sailor and can't navigate very well but she's only interested in moving, she needs to get out of this spot where she's been stalked every single night by some horrible monster who she believes killed her fiance. Darcy can see movement in the water, something is streaking towards her fast enough to kick up waves. Darcy fumbles with her ropes, she's tired, stressed out and panicking. It's getting darker and she's losing light. The monster's been sizing her boat up for days, each night becoming more comfortable exploring the boat. Darcy knows that if she's stuck here for one more night with this thing she won't see another morning, it will find her and eviscerate her.

She snaps everything into place and almost instantly feels movement for the first time in a weeks, the wind picks up and soon she's quickly heading away from danger. She hears the call of the creature getting further and further away as the sun starts to set on the horizon. The only thing indicating the place in the water where she suffered through her most unimaginable nightmare is a small scattering debris from her boat. That's the closest thing Cade will get to a tombstone marking his grave, he's lost forever out here.

Darcy lets the wind take her as far it can as night falls, Darcy is exhausted. She hasn't slept in days, she's a wreck. She's barely keeping herself together and it's likely that even if she survives to see land again; she'll never be the same. The movement of the boat is equally calming and terrifying. It's the reason she was able to escape a creature that will haunt her nightmares for as long as she lives but on the other hand this wind could be pushing her further and further away from the shore. Darcy's slumps over against the cabin and slides to the floor, she has nothing left. Her head slowly falls to her shoulders, he eyes never quite shut. If she closes them she'll see him, Cade. Standing on the water asking her to come back for him, asking her why she left him. She finally fades, her body relaxes. It's quiet. Darcy rests for the first time.

SLAM! Chaos. Darcy and everything on the boat are violently thrown forward, the boat was hit hard by something under the water.  Darcy is hurt and buried by falling debris. It's here. It followed her boat, it won't leave her alone. Won't let her escape. Darcy's pathetic and well worn voice can only let out a squeak.

Darcy

No.

-Cont'd-

Tom's Still Writing A Sea Monster Horror - Lurking Part 7

I am still trucking through this horror script. Because there's so little dialogue in this story I am having trouble gauging at what point in the movie we're at. Anyway...

  

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

-Lurking p7-

INTERIOR - BELOW DECK - NIGHT

It's dark inside, the moonlit night casts a strong white glow through the window and into the room. Amongst the debris, hidden in a darkened corner sits a broken and terrified Darcy. She's holding a knife in one hand and the flare gun in the other. The ship is rocking. Darcy is mumbling to herself, the one constant in her ramblings is the name Cade. Panning in on her face; the effects of what she's been through are evident. She hasn't slept a second, her eyes are red, her hair is wild and her lips are dry. Behind the eyes is a mind at play; desperately trying to make sense of her situation. The shadows on the wall and the unearthly quiet of the ocean are pushing her fragile mind to it's breaking point. 

A sound in the water cuts through the small room, a tapping, a soft bump, a scraping. It sounds like something is going along the boat touching it, inspecting it. Something in that deep, powerful ocean has taken in interest in her small, lonely boat. The effect of the knocking sound is paralyzing. Darcy sits frozen, tremors of fear shake her body and chatter her teeth. The sound makes it's way to the front of the boat. At thud, a splash. A moment of silence. 

Movement again. It's on the boat! She grips her weapons tensely, her eyes wide, she's listening intently and trying nervously to stay absolutely quiet. She hears something slumping around on the deck, it's movements are without any discernible pattern. It sounds like it's throwing something around, there's a slamming and a hissing followed by the sounds of wet crunching.

Listening to all this noise; Darcy's addled mind is infected by a thought. The idea that Cade somehow managed to make his way back to her, that up on that deck hurt, crawling around trying to get back to her. 

Darcy

Cade?

Darcy stands up, stepping out of the shadows and into the moonlight, she slowly and cautiously makes her way up the stairs with her knife in hand. Darcy's mind is racing, her nerves are screaming at her to run away and hide but her compulsion for answers is too strong. She steps onto the deck, it's very dark but she can see movement. She makes her way towards it, whatever it is it's large. About the size of a grown man, it's movements are animalistic, amphibian. In the dark of the night she can't see anything for sure. She gets closer, softly she asks out loud.

Darcy

Cade?

The figure is startled, it snaps violently at her. She recoils, falling backwards. The figure looks right at her and then slumps off the boat. Darcy's eyes well up. It wasn't Cade, I was something horrible. Something inhuman, she saw scales, teeth, sharp fins and cold, killing eyes. Darcy runs back below deck to hide.

-cont'd-

Your Boat Is Being Stalked By A Sea Creature Who Thinks You're Food.

LURKING

 

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

-Pt 5-

Daytime - Below deck

The next morning's light fills the boat's small living space from above, amongst the mess all over the floor it's hard to see Darcy hidden in a darkened corner. She hasn't slept a wink, she's a nervous wreck. She's holding a knife close in hand. The sun comes right through her window and hits her in the face, the bright white light prompts her to move. Sh
e make her way above deck.

It's a nice day, there's a strong wind causing waves to bounce off her boat and rock it, she makes her way to the bow. Darcy's still holding onto hope that Cade will show up. That she'll turn around to see him standing there as if he'd never left. She survey's the boat. It's covered in a black slime, there are deep scratches all over the boat and the sails are a wreck. Darcy takes the time to scan the boat for supplies, she has plenty of food to last her a while, all sorts of tools, fishing equipment, first aid kits and a flare gun. Cade made sure to be well stocked, he took good care of her.   

Darcy is utterly lost. The gravity of the situation once again hits her and she starts to panic. She drops down in a ball with her head at her knees; burying her head in her arms. She closes her eyes and tries to get a grip on herself. She rocks back and forth, she cries, she thinks. Her head snaps back up, she remembers the radio. She runs over to it, the storm has done a number on it but it still turns on. The static is extremely heavy on every channel she tries. Through the static she can make out the faintest sense of people speaking.

DARCY

Help!

Her voice is meek and desperate. Darcy flips around the dial, calling out for help to anyone who might be able to hear her. There's no response, there's no break in the static. She's alone. Suddenly, ominously cutting through the noise of the radio is the familiar high pitched clicking sound, it sounds amphibian and it's coming from the water about 20 ft out. Darcy stands up and scans the water with her eyes. She sees a wild thrashing several yards out, then the chilling site of death. Blood. She sees the water surrounding the area where she heard the sound turning red with the blood of a fresh kill. 

-Cont'd-

Horror Movie Idea. Don't Steal It.

I am too trusting. Please don't steal this idea, if anyone wants to hear more about it or even work with me on it then hit me up. This is my first draft, there's a lot I wan to add.

Lurking

Logline: Stranded on a small boat in the middle of the ocean; Darcy's honeymoon has become a nightmare. Her husband has vanished and her boat is being stalked by a terrifying creature in the water.

Lurking

Darcy and her husband Cade are about to embark on their honeymoon adventure, they plan on taking their small two person sailboat on a trip around the world. Making their way from California they plan on sailing the Southern Pacific route by way of the Pacific Ocean. Darcy isn't experienced but Cade is an avid sailor and has planned this for over a year, he's excited to take his wife on a trip around the world. Darcy is nervous about it but trusts Cade and loves the romantic idea of going on this adventure with the man she loves. Amidst well wishes and jealous congratulations from her friends the two set sail and head away from port, the weather is beautiful and the sun creates a golden glow on the water. By the end of the first day they find themselves all alone on the water, the lights of California are just visible on the horizon. Darcy is amazed by how peaceful it is, her reservations of the trip begin to fade. Cade surprises her with her favorite wine and a picnic on the bow. They make love under the moonlight. As she begins to fall asleep down below deck she hears a strange call off in the distance, something high pitched and clicking. She can't place it but dismisses it because it's so far away.

The next day Darcy wakes up alone, the boat is rocking heavily. She heads above deck and finds Cade working furiously to prepare for an impending storm, he tells her they need to get their sales down and have their emergency equipment ready. She's scared, he tells her not to worry; taking the time on that swaying boat to hold his wife and look deeply into her eyes and kiss her. He tells her again that it will be ok. Her nerves steady and she asks how she can help, he tells her to run down below and bring him his emergency kit. Darcy races down below, finds it and heads back upstairs. On the bow she sees Cade, mouth agape with a disturbed look on his face standing by the edge and staring out into the water. He's scanning the water as though he'd just seen something. His calm demeanor has changed, now he looks startled and nervous. Darcy snaps him back to reality and they get to work.

It's night now and Darcy is in bed below with Cade, the boat is being assaulted violently by the storm outside. Cade is holding Darcy to keep her calm. She closes her eyes and tries to shut it all out. Cade tells her that he’s there with her and she’ll be ok.

The next morning is calm, she wakes up alone in the bed again. Light shines in through the door which has been left open. She gets up and heads topside, when she gets to the top her stomach drops, she's overcome with paralyzing fear and disbelief. She's alone, Cade is nowhere to be seen. Panic sets in immediately,  she races around the small boat looking for him, eyes welling up with tears. She screams for him, she checks the water around her and screams his name at the top of her lungs. No answer. She races to the radio which she doesn't know how to use, she turns the dials desperately begging anyone listening for help. The isolation, the panic all hit her. She stumbles back below deck and falls to the ground unconscious.

It's later in the day and dark out, Darcy is lying in a ball on the floor. She's awake, lying there silently talking to herself; it's deathly silent. She perks up when she hears something on deck, she listens attentively. She hears it again. There's someone walking around up there, it must be CADE! She runs upstairs calling his name but what she sees startles her, she catches a slight glimpse of something slumping off the deck and springing back into the water. She grabs a flashlight and scans the water, shaking. She screams out once again for Cade and swings the light along the water. She catches the movement of something darting back underwater and drops the light in fear. She thinks she saw a face. A face of something, not Cade. She hears the same high pitched clicking that she heard on the first night, only now much, much closer.

Daytime - Darcy goes up deck to find that the boat has been damaged. She tries the radio again but doesn't get a signal, her phone is dead. She scans the boat for supplies. She finds first aid supplies, boating tools, a flare gun, there's enough food to last her a week or two. Cade would have made sure to be well supplied.

She tries to set the sail but isn't sure how. A gust of wind swings the rigging into her, knocking her into the water. She was hit hard and was rattled; underwater she struggles back towards the surface. In the distance she sees something swimming towards her. With every ounce of strength she races to the surface and pulls herself onto the boat. She spins around to see a shark, it missed her by seconds. She's rattled, scared and doesn't know what to do, she's in the most terrifying scenario imaginable and she knows it.

Time passes, it’s getting dark now. Darcy is on the deck sitting by the radio which looks like she's been trying to use it for a while, there are papers around it, a makeshift antenna...Darcy is eating a cereal bar. She hears the sound again, the high pitched clicking of the creature in the near distance, she clutches the flare gun closely. Darcy speaks into the radio. She broadcasts a distress plea to anyone listening. She talks about her boat, it's damage and her situation. She states that she thinks there's something in the water following her, she says that it comes each night, she says she feels like she's going crazy and finally she talks about Cade and how scared she is. There's absolutely no answer. Its starting to get dark. In the distance we hear a high pitched clicking sound. Its getting closer.

It's night, it's black out. Only the moon provides light, the glossy sheen of the boat reflects it into the water directly around the small vessel. It's easy to forget how immense the ocean she's lost in is with so much of it blacked out. Darcy is hiding below deck, she's curled up in a corner and absolutely terrified. She's holding the flare gun closely. She can hear the sounds the creature is making in the water all around her. Its stalking the boat and seems much more active at night. It gets quiet, extremely quiet. Middle of the ocean quiet. She hears the sound of it clawing at and probing the boat, exploring it underneath her. It makes its way up the side and she can hear the sound of it slumping onto the deck. Its topside, she terrified. She can see it's shadows, she can see movement, she can hear it. It's on the bow and it's slamming around. She can hear a squishy crunch and the sound of tearing, the creature screams out. She makes herself as small as she can and disappears into the shadows bellow, clutching her gun.

She wakes up the next morning, and heads upstairs to where the monster was. She finds a LOT of blood and the torn up remains of a shark on her bow. The blood will attract predators, she has to get out of there. She has to get the sail working. She spends the day working on it, as it gets darker she hears the creature's call moving closer and closer, finally as nights draws her sail snaps into place and she starts to move. She tears up, thankful and also finally facing the fact that Cade is never coming back.

Its night. She's on the move and suddenly her boat is slammed. She's sent flying. She screams 'NO', she can't believe it. She thought she left it behind. She's slammed again. Darcy takes to the wheel trying to steer away, it’s an act of desperation; she has no idea where the creature is. She's slammed again and knocked to the ground. She sees her sail come loose and rushes to fix it, it’s so dark and she struggles to repair the sail. She picks up her flashlight and shines it on the tangled rigging. From behind her appears the creature, she spins to shine the light on it but it takes a swing at her. The swipe the creature takes knocks Darcy to the floor and obliterates the rigging of the sail. The sail falls and the creature jumps back into the water. Darcy narrowly avoids being killed by the falling sail. Rigging falls into the water.

Darcy is hurt, she reaches into her waistband and makes sure she has her gun. Suddenly the bow of the ship begins to dip, something is pulling it down with incredible force. The back end of the ship lifts out of the water, the creature is pulling on the rigging. The pole its attached to is damaged, Darcy kicks the pole over and over until it snaps apart and the rigging is pulled underwater. The boat levels. The sail is destroyed, its dawn. Darcy can’t stand up, she’s been battered.

As dawn starts to break the creature is coming. Darcy is laying on her stomach, hurt, she hears the creature board the boat and slump towards her. The creature grabs her from behind and she spins around and puts a flare into the creature's chest, it falls backwards dead and slides into the water.
Its still dark out at the crack of dawn, the broken boat is drifting with Darcy unconscious. The boat comes to a stop, it's hit something and Darcy wakes up. It hit rocks in the middle of the ocean. Darcy looks up to see a very small island, roughly the size of a tennis court and swims towards it. The boat sinks.

On the land she finds the carcasses of all manner of sea creature. She also finds Cade's half devoured body. Behind her she can hear the sounds of the creature, then the sound of others, coming from several different directions. She's on her knees, she doesn't even turn around, a few of the creatures lurch onto the island out of the water and slump towards her. She doesn't turn to look, she has no more fight in her, she's resigned to her fate. She plays with her wedding ring as they get closer. The camera closes on a shot of her wedding ring moments before she's killed for sure.

-Thomas Holler 

I could probably just sell this as a remake of
'Creature from the Black Lagoon'

There's something in the water

So this is a story breakdown for a horror script I am going to be working on.

Lurking

Darcy and her husband Cade are about to embark on their honeymoon adventure, they plan on taking their small two person sailboat on a trip around the world. Making their way from California they plan on sailing the Southern Pacific route by way of the Pacific Ocean. Darcy isn't experienced but Cade is an avid sailor and has planned this for over a year, he's excited to take his wife on a trip around the world. Darcy is nervous about it but trusts Cade and loves the romantic idea of sailing the world with the man she loves. Amidst well wishes and jealous congratulations from her friends the two set sail and head away from port, the weather is beautiful and the sun creates a golden glow on the water. By the end of the first day they find themselves all alone on the water, the lights of California are just visible on the horizon. Darcy is amazed by how peaceful it is, her reservations of the trip begin to fade. Cade surprises her with her favorite wine and a picnic on the bow. They make love under the moonlight. As she begins to fall asleep down below deck she hears a strange call off in the distance, something high pitched and clicking. She can't place it but dismisses it because it's so far away.

The next day she wakes up alone, the boat is rocking heavily. She heads above deck and finds Cade working furiously to prepare for an impending storm, he tells her they need to get their sales down and have their emergency equipment ready. She's scared, he tells her not to worry; taking the time on that swaying boat to hold his wife and look deeply into her eyes and kiss her. He tells her again that it will be ok. Her nerves steady and she asks how she can help, he tells her to run down below and bring him his emergency kit. She races down below, finds it and heads back upstairs. On the bow she sees Cade, mouth agape with a disturbed look on his face standing by the edge and staring out into the water. He's scanning the water as though he'd just seen something. His calm demeanor has changed, now he looks startled and nervous. Darcy snaps him back to reality.

It's night and Darcy is down below with Cade, the boat is being assaulted violently by the storm outside. They're laying in bed, Cade is holding Darcy to keep her calm. She closes her eyes and tries to shut it all out.

The next morning is calm, she wakes up alone in the bed. Light shines in through the door which has been left open. She gets up and heads topside, when she gets to the top her stomach drops, she's overcome with paralyzing fear. She's alone, Cade is nowhere to be seen. Panic sets in immediately,  she races around the small boat looking for him, eyes welling up with tears. She screams for him, she checks the water around her and screams his name at the top of her lungs. No answer. She races to the radio which she doesn't know how to use, she turns the dials desperately begging anyone listening for help. The isolation, the panic all hit her. She stumbles back below deck and falls to the ground unconscious.

It's later in the day and dark out, Darcy is lying in a ball on the floor. She's awake, lying there silently talking to herself; it's deathly silent. She hears something, she listens attentively. She hears it again. There's someone on the deck, she can hear them walking. It must be CADE! She runs upstairs calling his name but what she sees startles her, she catches a slight glimpse of something slumping off the deck and springing back into the water. She grabs a flashlight and scans the water, shaking. She screams out once again for Cade and swings the light along the water. She catches the movement of something darting back underwater and drops the light in fear. She thinks she saw a face. A face of something, not Cade. She hears the same high pitched clicking that she heard on the first night, only now much, much closer.


...Cont'd

...but scarier than this