Tom's Writing A Horror, Action, Workplace Comedy Show

Here's what I've been working on recently. I have a show I wrote called DOPE that's a cross between Ghostbusters and the X-Files, I already wrote up a full pitch package along with a pilot episode and now I just spent some time re-writing and finishing the second episode for the series. 

DOPE – The Department of Paranormal Events is the low level branch of the provincial government where Investigations and Removals specialists Rooney, Ervin and Randal are pitted up against ghosts, goblins, demons, vampires, zombies and more ghosts all for less pay than the city gives to their average parking enforcement officer. 

DOPE is a story about a lower level branch of the provincial government dedicated to protecting the public against paranormal pests. It’s about a group of ghost exterminators trained in haunting investigations, possessions, vampirification and zombification cases, hobgoblin removal and anything else their miserable supervisor Mr. Dickmeyer demands of them. Rooney, Ervin and Randal find themselves in life threatening situations almost every day, facing off against creatures thousands of times more dangerous than anything your typical exterminator can imagine. Because the debate about the existence of the paranormal will always be ongoing with many people still unconvinced skeptics; the Department of Paranormal Events is the least funded branch of the government; meaning our guys are risking their lives for a little under $25,000 a year. 

DOPE Episode 2: Vampires - Rooney, Ervin and Randall are chased into a small cabin by a pack of vampires and Randall has been bitten. They can hold up until sunset when the vampires would retreat but if they wait that long then Randall will die and become one of them. He needs the vampire virus cure which is in the standard DOPE medical kit in their car and he needs it ASAP.

Rooney and Randall risk certain death at the hands of a ravenous pack of wild vampires. Electing to save Randal; Ervin constructs a plan to draw the attention of the vampires from within the cabin allowing Rooney to escape out back. Rooney has to race through a kilometer of vampire territory at night to find their car and get it back to Ervin who was left to fortify and protect the cabin from a pack of strong and frenzied vampires who are determined to tear their way inside where Randall lays helpless and dying on the floor; bound to turn into a deadly vampire himself at any minute.

EXT – Forest/Night

Rooney, Ervin and Randal are running through a forest towards a lonely, secluded little cabin. It's in a dilapidated condition, all three men are panicked and show signs of a struggle. Randall is wearing a blood soaked rag around his arm.

Rooney runs right up to the house and slams himself hard against the door, bouncing off and hurting himself, a beat later Ervin smashes through the front door. Rooney runs inside. Randall stumbles up to the door and almost passes out right at the doorway, Ervin catches him and pulls him in, Rooney slams the door and presses his body up against it.

Rooney

WHY DID YOU BRING RANDAL?

Ervin

I didn't know there would be that many!

Randall

Dammit Rooney I can take care of myself.

Rooney

You got BIT Randal

Randal's arm has been bitten, it's gruesome.

The inhuman sound of shrieking can be heard getting louder and louder, closer and closer. Ervin inspects Randall's bite.

Ervin

We have to get this treated immediately, the infection has already started.

Randall

Can we cure me before I turn into one of them?

Ervin takes a small plastic package out of his pocket and tears it open. It’s a syringe. He gives Randal a shot.

Ervin

I am going to give you a shot of anti-venom, it’ll help slow the spread of the virus but it’s not a cure. We need to get him to a hospital asap or he’ll turn.

Rooney

If we go outside, we DIE!

Ervin

If we stay here HE dies.

Rooney presses a button on his shoulder mounted radio.

Rooney

DOPE this is Rooney, I need assistance. My team and I were assigned to a vampire removal but there were WAY more than you said there’d be. Randal got bit! We need -

A voice comes over the radio, it's automated.

Voice on the radio

'Due to a high number of calls your request has been put in priority sequence, please wait for the next available operator.'

The three men share a look.

Ervin

How many are there?

Rooney looks out the window of the small cabin, as far as he can see there are zombie-like vampires pouring out of the woods towards the cabin. The sheer number of the vampire force makes Rooney's face go white.

Rooney

Lots.

Fadeout. Title. 

Cont'd...

DOPE - A ghost busting story

So, I am taking a little break from the horror because this little scene came into my head and I wanted to write it down. It's for a script idea I had worked on previously and it can either be molded into it's own little stand alone short, or it can find it's way as a scene in a longer script. Anyway, at least now I have it on the page. 

DOPE – The Department of Paranormal Events is the low level branch of the provincial government where Investigations and Removals specialists Rooney, Ervin and Randal are pitted up against ghosts, goblins, demons, vampires, zombies and more ghosts all for less pay than the city gives to their average parking enforcement officer.

ERVIN - Black male - Very large and put together, very physically capable and smart. Good at his job. A huge nerd.

ROONEY - Caucasian man - Tattooed, surly, strong. The human embodiement of every pissed off, underpaid worker.

RANDAL - An intellectual. Very small and meek.

2 Locations:

Rooney - Interior- An old, dark basement. 

Ervin - Exterior - A nearby cemetary

The two men are standing in different locations, Ervin at a cemetery and Rooney is in a dark basement carrying a computer/tablet which glows brightly in the blackened room. Rooney kneels in position and presses the radio button on his shoulder. Ervin responds.

Rooney
Ok, I am in the dead room. What did you want me to do with this?

Ervin

Easy, just set up your RASS.

Rooney has absolutely no idea what that meant but he'd rather try to figure it out on his own then lose face to Ervin. He looks all over the glowing tablet but can't find any clues, frustratedly he responds back to Ervin.

Rooney

 Say again.

Ervin

Your RASS, I need you to run a spectral. 

Rooney

STOP saying RASS. I don't know what that is. 

Ervin

THE THING YOU'RE HOLDING! Your Radial Analytical Spectral System.

Rooney

What, this little computer you gave me?

Ervin

YES! How do you not know this?

Rooney

I consider it unprofessional to use abbreviations!

Ervin

Rooney. Seriously, do you not know how to run a scan?

Rooney

I was never briefed on this equipment. 

Ervin

YES YOU WERE! I briefed you, we had an hour long training session last week. 

Rooney

When?

Ervin

LAST WEEK!

Rooney

We had FIFTY training sessions last week!

Ervin

We had 6!

Rooney

That's a lot! I don't EVER remember hearing about any RASS or seeing this thing before. There's no way I was at that session.

Ervin

Oh my god. You were there. 

Rooney, why did you agree to run the spectral analysis if you didn't know how to do it? That's why I asked you if you read the manuals. You said you did.

Rooney

I did say that. Yeah. 

Ervin

You messed up bad. When I tell you to do your homework; DO IT. This is dangerous.

Rooney

Why don't you just come down here and help me?

Ervin

I CAN'T. The client said he saw the boy's ghost in the graveyard. 

Rooney

Then why did you send me to a dark basement?

Ervin

Because you'll be able to get a reading from the room the ghost died in. We'll know what kind of spectre it is and we can set our guns to it.

Each is holding a hand held, glowing gun shaped phaser.

Rooney

Ok. FINE. What do I do?

Ervin

Open the start menu

Rooney

Done

Ervin

Chose your classification. What kind of ghost are we looking for?

Rooney

Some little kid ghost.

Ervin

MANIFESTED! As in it's here, it's crossed back over and can interact with things. It can touch stuff.

Rooney

Ok. Now I chose "vapor state being"?

Ervin

Jesus Rooney! Chose Ectoplasmic Identification...god...

Rooney

I WASN'T AT THE TRAINING SESSION!

Ervin

THAT'S IT. I am radioing the Department. I am going to get them to pull the attendance card that you SIGNED when you were AT the meeting.

This annoys Rooney but before he can fire back at Ervin his device starts to glow brightly. Ervin presses the radio on his shoulder, patching through to Randal who's working the desk back at the department. The shot bounces back between the 3 locations. 

Ervin - Cemetary
Rooney - Dark basement
Randal - Working the desk at the department

Ervin

Randal. I need you to pull the attendance sheet from last weeks RASS training session.

Randal

Why?

Ervin
I want to know if Rooney was in that session.

Randal
Rooney's in trouble again?

Back in the basement Rooney's machine is going haywire, he's trying to figure it out when a chilling looking ghost of a young boy bursts through the wall. Rooney is attacked. Ervin and Randal don't notice.

Randal

  Well he was definitely there. 

Ervin

You have the sheet?

Randal

I don't need one. He spilled coffee all over his RASS unit, the Department has to pay to have it serviced. I am filling out the expense report now.

In the basement the room is in chaos. The room is being pulled apart as though a tornado has touched down, Rooney is being pounced upon by the ghost. He's trying desperately to fight back. Over the radio on his shoulder he can hear the conversation between his co-workers.

Ervin

You're an idiot Rooney.

-DOPE-

DOPE - Pitch Package

APE

So I just finished my whole pitch package for DOPE (Department of Paranormal Events) and I am too paranoid to put it on the net like I planned so...too bad.

Also I broke my phone and I feel like CRAP over it. A mug fell out of my cupboard and landed right on my phone, it was traumatic and I am still  not over it. When I saw the cracks in the glass on my phone I almost cried, that's $110 that I can't afford; down the drain. CLASSIC Thomas Holler.

Short Story About A Ghostbusting Team

Today I wrote a teaser story (trailer) about a government sponsored ghostbusting team.

INT - A dark, narrow crawl space.

OPEN: Open on a shot of a brightly lit tracking device that Ervin is looking into. Ervin and his partner Rooney are crawling through this crawlspace, both have on workmen's uniforms with the term "D.O.P.E" stitched onto them. Rooney is holding a flashlight.

ROONEY
I am gonna get bit. I always do.

ERVIN
Stay close to me and I'll watch your back.

He stops

ERVIN
DOWN!

Rooney hits the ground, something blasts past them, knocking over several boxes.

ROONEY
Why do I do this?

ERVIN
It's your job.

ROONEY
AND I HATE IT! It's a crappy job and the pay SUCKS!

ERVIN
I do ok.

ROONEY
You're a supervisor and you don't do that well. I am tired of this. Look at the crap they ask us to do. Crawl around a gross crawlspace looking for some disgusting creature that can HURT us BTW.

ERVIN
Oh big time, these things have inch long knife shaped teeth and four long, needle sharp claws on their fingers. They're MEAN too.

ROONEY
I know! I've been attacked by these things. MANY times. I HATE this job.

ERVIN
BACK!

Ervin grabs Rooney and pulls him back quickly, both men fall over. The box that was beside Rooney's head explodes. Rooney points the flashlight at it, he sees large claw marks.

ERVIN
So look for a new job.

ROONEY
Do you know how hard that is? I can't use any of what I do here on my resume.

ERVIN
Yes you can, you just need to make it sound better. Don't put down that you worked for the Department of Paranormal Events; just put down that you worked for the government. If they find out where you worked just tell them you were in administrations, you processed claims applications for hauntings, possessions, demonic visitations, zombifications, vampireification...just don't tell anyone you're in investigations and removals. I know one of the admin managers; he'll fake a reference if I ask him to.

ROONEY
Why don't you just tell him to get me a job up there?

Rooney's flashlight goes out.

 ROONEY
We get the cheapest flashlights.

ERVIN
Yeah...

Rooney turns. From over the shoulder of the two men we see them facing down the most viscous looking toothed beast. Rooney jumps back, startled.

ERVIN
We get cool guns though.

They pull out their ionic poppers.

Which look like PS3 Move sub machine guns

Glowing guns that shoot concentrated lazer blasts which explode when making contact with the beast. The beast explodes, covering both men in pink slime.

ROONEY
I hate this job.

-END-

Picture source - http://wtf-film.com/site/tag/tim-hildebrandt/

My Revision.

So I hated where my story was going, there was so much of it I liked but I wrote myself into a corner with how I had it all blocked out. I rearranged some things, changed the order in which they happen and gave myself a fresh point from which to start building an ending.

This is something I can come back to and finish up because I've given myself a lot more room to craft a story out of where I am headed. I don't know that I'll come back to this right away, I am anxious to get started on something new and actually more urgent.

So I am going to file this one away, to be completed later.

INT- A Classroom in the basement of DOPE headquarters.

ERVIN
There is nothing more dangerous than a zombie

The camera pans back to reveal about 20 recruits in the class sitting on the floor.

ERVIN
Never mind all this talk about zombies only being dangerous in large numbers, that's not true. Fighting one single zombie is like fighting an angry gorilla. They come at you with everything they have and never tire. They have no fear and never hold back.

There's a knock at the door.

ERVIN
And now you're about to meet one. Aside from being our classroom for today this is also the area where we conduct our zombie inspections. This is where we do a thorough examination of all new zombies to determine their identities so that we can contact families and hopefully bring them closure. Those that don't have families and those who we can't identify are buried in a government funded graveyard.

A female zombie comes bursting through the door, the recruits all jump back. She goes to run at them but is jolted to a stop by the collar around her neck. She has two handlers with her, they have a fight getting her chained to the wall safely. They're scared of her.

HANDLER 1
You need to WATCH this one. She's out of control, she almost got my partner here. Didn't she Marty?

He turns to his partner (Marty), Marty is hunched over and holding his side, there is a hint of blood on his hand.

HANDLER 2 (Marty)
Yeah. She's a real bitch.

They limp out of the room, Marty is in obvious pain and is holding his side as though to conceal it, there's blood on his hands. The zombie on the wall thrashes about.

INT – the Offices of DOPE

Rooney is looking for Randal and asks a coworker assigned to scheduling and assignments.

ROONEY
Elvis. Have you seen Randal he was supposed to come get me to help him with a zombie inspection?

ELVIS
Oh, he already left. Sorry, I didn't see your name on the form or I would have got you.

ROONEY
Elvis. Always get me when he's called.

ELVIS
Of course, I can try to do that from now on but...the zombie is already in restraints; I really don't think you need to worry.

ROONEY
Don't worry? Do you even know what a zombie is exactly?

INT – BASEMENT CLASSROOM

RECRUIT
Sir, what exactly is a zombie?

ERVIN
Ok well, when you picture a zombie you picture a dead person who wants to bite you. Correct?

ERVIN
Well that's only partially right. The zombie you're picturing isn't your attacker, that's just his vehicle. The zombie is actually just a tiny, microscopic parasite. It makes it's way to the brain once it's in the bloodstream, from there it completely takes over. It's control of it's subject is dominant, they aren't somewhere behind their own eyes witnessing in horror their own action. They're gone completely, once the parasite enters the brain there's absolutely no brainwave activity...

INT-Offices of D.O.P.E

ROONEY
...outside of one single thought.

Elvis is transfixed

ELVIS
What's that?

ROONEY
To bite you.

INT-BASEMENT CLASSROOM

ERVIN
To tear you open with their teeth. See they reproduce through secretions in the saliva, once it's in your bloodstream they've effectively passed on their seeds. Reproduction, it's the only thing parasites live to do and they attack that task with all the ferocity of an athlete playing in game 7 of a championship series. Even if a host body is killed a parasite can keep the muscles active for up to 9 months. Even after receiving incredible trauma like being cut in half; the zombie can still keep trying to bite you. That's why the only course of action in some cases is the removal of the head or the destruction of the brain.

There's a knock on the door, Randal enters.

Randal has a clip board and some medical instruments with him

RANDAL

Hey Ervin, I heard we have an unidentified zombie here.

ERVIN

That's right Randal; tell my recruits how we go about identifying our zombies.

RANDAL
Well we've found that the best method of identifying who these people were was to set up a database of all the zombies we find and make it accessible to everyone in the public that's looking for one of their loved ones. We post descriptions and pictures of the zombies we find and we try to be as detailed as possible for anyone looking. So what I am going to do here is look for any identifying marks like a tattoo or birthmark or a scar, anything that makes identification a little easier. 

Randal goes to begin his identification but is stopped by Ervin

ERVIN
Whoa, where's your partner?

RANDAL
I don't need him

ERVIN
Two partners for zombie inspections. That's mandatory.

RANDAL
Then you help me.

ERVIN
Absolutely not, not with a classroom of recruits here. Wait for your backup.

RANDAL
He's been watching over every little thing I do lately, if you want him; go get him. I am starting this inspection.

Back in the halls Rooney is still looking for Randal, he heads down to the basement where the inspections are held. There's something wrong, broken glass is on the floor. Rooney hears footsteps in the halls nearing him, there's something wrong about the sound of them. They footsteps sound like something slumping towards him, out of step.

He hears an almost inhuman hiss.

INT - Classroom

Back at the classroom Ervin and Randal are still bickering over his not having his partner with him. 

ERVIN

That's it. Mr. Gomez, do you know who Rooney Rodman is? He's in inspections and removals.

Mr. Gomez

Yes, I saw him getting yelled at by Mr. Dickmyer earlier.

ERVIN

Yeah that's him. I need you to go find him for me. 

Mr. Gomez

Ok.

The young recruit Mr Gomez rushes up to the door and opens it. Like a great white shark bursting through the waves to catch a seal the zombie that was Marty's partner bursts through the door and onto him. He never has a chance, his neck is ripped apart by the zombie's teeth. Ervin screams for the rest of the recruits to get back. Randal is startled off his chair and falls into the female zombies. Her restrains slip and she bursts forward after the recruits. She's loose but she drags chains behind her now.

Randal does what he can and quickly grabs hold of her chains, stopping her just short of tearing into one of the recruits. 

Ervin runs to the intercom on the wall and screams, his voice is cracking and stricken with panic.

ERVIN

LOCK DOWN THIS BASEMENT NOW! WE HAVE A ZOMBIE OUTBREAK!

The response to Ervin's plea is immediate, an alarm sounds and the main doors are locked down. 

The recruits are terrified and are pressed up as close against the wall as their bodies will allow, a gnashing female zombie is just inches from getting a hold of one of them. She's single minded in her focus, not turning her attention to the only reason she can't get to the terrified recruits. Randal is holding onto the chain attached to the collar on her neck, he's struggling mightily.

Ervin springs onto the zombie attacking Mr Gomez; grabbing him by the waist and throwing him out through the door and into the halls. He slams the door. Mr. Gomez is screaming, he's dying. He spits up a lot of blood and dies.

The moment is silent, the room for a small instance is completely silent except for the zombie's snarls. Mr Gomez bursts back to his feet loudly, Randal looses his grip on the chain, the female zombie grabs one of the recruits and tears him open. Zombie Mr. Gomez is battering Ervin and trying to bite him, while fighting him off Ervin can only do one thing. Only utter one order.

ERVIN
RUN!!!

INT - The halls of the basement.

Rooney is racing through the hallways, he's been spooked by something. He starts to sprint but as he rounds a corner he slips in a pool of blood, he falls hard. He's covered in red. He takes a second to take in the scene, that second costs him. 

With no warning whatsoever Rooney is pounced upon by a zombified Marty, his eyes are white, his skin has lost the color of life and his mouth is covered in fresh blood. 

Rooney is slammed to the ground, the zombie never lets up. It's wild in it's movements; it's without thought. It's a rampaging animal beating Rooney up. He barely, BARELY kicks the zombie away and makes a break for it. He's been heavily battered. 

-----
to be concluded...


And from there I have to take a break from DOPE to work on something else, something called the Beautiful...

Next post I'll explain but it's actually a project that we've already filmed some content for.