My Favorite Super Villain Speech

Hey,

I am rewriting this 'Dic Pics' script I've been toying with and I'll have a new version posted tomorrow. I've pretty much lost everything after the opening scene, I found I was writing myself into a corner. I was trying to squeeze too much into what was supposed to be a short script and it wasn't working so I finally decided to scrap half of what I wrote. I've also started on a second script involving those same characters, hopefully I can finish up both soon.

In the meantime I am going to post this page, its my all time favorite comic book villain speech. Its so bad ass. This one comes from the series 'Final Crisis' and is written by Grant Morrison. Enjoy.

The Killrazor Experiment: An experiment to see if I can get one of the coolest but most obscure characters in comic book history into the mainstream by teaching the internet about him.

KILLRAZOR!!!!

I want to introduce you guys to an obscure character from an obscure comic called Codename Strykeforce by Image Comics, he's got the sleekest costume, the coolest power and he never talks. His name is Killrazor and he can punch huge razors out of any part of his body, ANY part of his body. There's no limit to how many Razors he can pop out at a time; so does that make him cooler than Wolverine? Well...it's hard to ignore the math. My point is this...

THIS!

Yes. He's a ninja. Obviously, and like most ninja's he adheres to a strict code of silence. The man has only ever made a noise once in his life and it was after eating some very spicy food. That's not a joke either, I remember that being specifically stated in one of the issues. He never talks; so now all of a sudden he's like Snake Eyes from GI Joe if Snake Eyes could PUNCH HUGE RAZORS OUT OF ANY PART OF HIS BODY.

Here he is showing you all that he's cooler than this other 'claw' guy named Ripclaw (pffffffttt).

I remember that issue, Ripclaw was trying to impress KR with how long he can make his claws stretch. Without saying a word Killrazor says "F**k your claws" and "You're making as asshole out of yourself".

Killrazor

I'd tell you a lot more about his origin but it wasn't explored in depth, he has a wiki-page you can visit ( http://www.comicvine.com/killrazor/29-21927/) you'll notice it's lacking. He only made a handful of appearances but each one of them gave us picture that hits our eyes like a shot of whiskey hits our mouths.

One other area where he separates himself from Wolverine is that it hurts him to pop his Razors out, each time comes with a painful cost.

Really, what help were the neck Razors with those arrows?

The only thing uglier and more disgusting than his scarred up body is his gingery red hair.

Kill F'N Razor

-APE-

-END-

DOPE - A ghost busting story

So, I am taking a little break from the horror because this little scene came into my head and I wanted to write it down. It's for a script idea I had worked on previously and it can either be molded into it's own little stand alone short, or it can find it's way as a scene in a longer script. Anyway, at least now I have it on the page. 

DOPE – The Department of Paranormal Events is the low level branch of the provincial government where Investigations and Removals specialists Rooney, Ervin and Randal are pitted up against ghosts, goblins, demons, vampires, zombies and more ghosts all for less pay than the city gives to their average parking enforcement officer.

ERVIN - Black male - Very large and put together, very physically capable and smart. Good at his job. A huge nerd.

ROONEY - Caucasian man - Tattooed, surly, strong. The human embodiement of every pissed off, underpaid worker.

RANDAL - An intellectual. Very small and meek.

2 Locations:

Rooney - Interior- An old, dark basement. 

Ervin - Exterior - A nearby cemetary

The two men are standing in different locations, Ervin at a cemetery and Rooney is in a dark basement carrying a computer/tablet which glows brightly in the blackened room. Rooney kneels in position and presses the radio button on his shoulder. Ervin responds.

Rooney
Ok, I am in the dead room. What did you want me to do with this?

Ervin

Easy, just set up your RASS.

Rooney has absolutely no idea what that meant but he'd rather try to figure it out on his own then lose face to Ervin. He looks all over the glowing tablet but can't find any clues, frustratedly he responds back to Ervin.

Rooney

 Say again.

Ervin

Your RASS, I need you to run a spectral. 

Rooney

STOP saying RASS. I don't know what that is. 

Ervin

THE THING YOU'RE HOLDING! Your Radial Analytical Spectral System.

Rooney

What, this little computer you gave me?

Ervin

YES! How do you not know this?

Rooney

I consider it unprofessional to use abbreviations!

Ervin

Rooney. Seriously, do you not know how to run a scan?

Rooney

I was never briefed on this equipment. 

Ervin

YES YOU WERE! I briefed you, we had an hour long training session last week. 

Rooney

When?

Ervin

LAST WEEK!

Rooney

We had FIFTY training sessions last week!

Ervin

We had 6!

Rooney

That's a lot! I don't EVER remember hearing about any RASS or seeing this thing before. There's no way I was at that session.

Ervin

Oh my god. You were there. 

Rooney, why did you agree to run the spectral analysis if you didn't know how to do it? That's why I asked you if you read the manuals. You said you did.

Rooney

I did say that. Yeah. 

Ervin

You messed up bad. When I tell you to do your homework; DO IT. This is dangerous.

Rooney

Why don't you just come down here and help me?

Ervin

I CAN'T. The client said he saw the boy's ghost in the graveyard. 

Rooney

Then why did you send me to a dark basement?

Ervin

Because you'll be able to get a reading from the room the ghost died in. We'll know what kind of spectre it is and we can set our guns to it.

Each is holding a hand held, glowing gun shaped phaser.

Rooney

Ok. FINE. What do I do?

Ervin

Open the start menu

Rooney

Done

Ervin

Chose your classification. What kind of ghost are we looking for?

Rooney

Some little kid ghost.

Ervin

MANIFESTED! As in it's here, it's crossed back over and can interact with things. It can touch stuff.

Rooney

Ok. Now I chose "vapor state being"?

Ervin

Jesus Rooney! Chose Ectoplasmic Identification...god...

Rooney

I WASN'T AT THE TRAINING SESSION!

Ervin

THAT'S IT. I am radioing the Department. I am going to get them to pull the attendance card that you SIGNED when you were AT the meeting.

This annoys Rooney but before he can fire back at Ervin his device starts to glow brightly. Ervin presses the radio on his shoulder, patching through to Randal who's working the desk back at the department. The shot bounces back between the 3 locations. 

Ervin - Cemetary
Rooney - Dark basement
Randal - Working the desk at the department

Ervin

Randal. I need you to pull the attendance sheet from last weeks RASS training session.

Randal

Why?

Ervin
I want to know if Rooney was in that session.

Randal
Rooney's in trouble again?

Back in the basement Rooney's machine is going haywire, he's trying to figure it out when a chilling looking ghost of a young boy bursts through the wall. Rooney is attacked. Ervin and Randal don't notice.

Randal

  Well he was definitely there. 

Ervin

You have the sheet?

Randal

I don't need one. He spilled coffee all over his RASS unit, the Department has to pay to have it serviced. I am filling out the expense report now.

In the basement the room is in chaos. The room is being pulled apart as though a tornado has touched down, Rooney is being pounced upon by the ghost. He's trying desperately to fight back. Over the radio on his shoulder he can hear the conversation between his co-workers.

Ervin

You're an idiot Rooney.

-DOPE-

DOPE - Pitch Package

APE

So I just finished my whole pitch package for DOPE (Department of Paranormal Events) and I am too paranoid to put it on the net like I planned so...too bad.

Also I broke my phone and I feel like CRAP over it. A mug fell out of my cupboard and landed right on my phone, it was traumatic and I am still  not over it. When I saw the cracks in the glass on my phone I almost cried, that's $110 that I can't afford; down the drain. CLASSIC Thomas Holler.

MY RECURRING DAYDREAM - 3

The conclusion to my little superhero story.

The three men run, they flee the house and run into a shed out back and frantically board up the door. The leader of the group is named Aaron, he's slightly older than the other two. They have a shotgun held by SCUMBAG and two big knives held by Aaron and the 3rd man. DIRTBAG.

AARON
Save those bullets. Do you understand me, they're our only chance. You don't pull that trigger unless you have it aimed a foot away from it's head.

DIRTBAG
We need to run before he gets up.

AARON
He'll catch us.

A primal roar is heard, it's a violent and guttural sound. Wholly inhuman. They're terrified.

SCUMBAG

WE HAVE TO RUN!

AARON
He'll CATCH US.

DIRTBAG
Shut up! 

The men get quiet, they can hear the sounds of the monster smashing up the house room by room. It sounds angry.

They hear it getting closer and closer, it's outside the door. They can hear it stalking around the small shed, they can see it's shadow as it passes past the cracks in the walls where the lights from the house shine down on the dark shed. They can hear it's primal snorts of air up against the walls of the shed, a guttural rumbling in it's gut. Aaron turns to SCUMBAG who is shaking with the shotgun in his hands.

 

AARON
Don't miss.

The back wall explodes apart, it smashes through with ease, Aaron charges it with his knife held above is head, the knife comes down in the creature's neck. I has no effect, it grabs his arm and obliterates it. Aaron twist around and screams, he's facing the two horrified men. Blood gushes from his arm. The beast grabs his head from behind and pulls down on it like a pez dispenser, it snaps right off and rolls on the ground. The beast steps inside.

It's the man in the tattered mask, the area's where his skin is exposed looks grey and pale, dead. He's something between a zombie and a vampire, his eyes are yellow and expressionless. His movements are animalistic.

Scumbag screams, Dirtbag runs. Scumbag pulls his gun and shoots, nothing stops it. Scumbag is pounced upon and torn apart.

Dirtbag is running as hard as he can, the beast can be heard closing in behind him. Dirtbag screams, Cockroach runs alongside him and strikes him down. Dirtbag goes rolling along the hard pavement of the road, his knife skipping alongside him, sparking as it clashes with the road.

Dirtbag is hurt, he reaches for the knife but the beast that was Cockroach picks it up. Dirtbag tries to scamper away but he's stomped on. The beast bares down on him and holds the knife up, intending to strike down on Dirtbag's head with the large knife.

As Dirtbag winces the beast halts, there's the first glimmer of cognitive thought to his movements. He shakes his head, like someone trying to shake out the cobwebs and regain sobriety. His pale yellow eye behind the tattered black mask give way to his human blue eyes.

He's back. Cockroach is back and the beast is gone. He looks up to see himself holding a knife, he looks down to see Dirtbag cowering.

 

COCKROACH
Did you kill a blonde girl?

DIRTBAG
I am SORRY!

COCKROACH
I don't believe you.

'THUNK'. The sound of Dirtbag's head being split open with a knife.

-END-

Oh wow. That was violent. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I HAVE A RECURRING DAYDREAM - 2

I am continuing this story, check out my last entry if you're interested in catching up.

----------------------------------------

Cont'd

The man takes a moment, the room is quiet and very dark. He gets up off the floor onto his knees, he turns towards the door and stops. Staring back at him is the barrel end of a dirty shotgun, it's held by a scumbag in a white t-shirt with blood stains all over it. Her blood. He speaks.

"You're in big trouble."

The scumbag pulls the trigger, the bullet goes through the man's mouth and explodes out the back of his head. He slumps backwards, his eyes seem impossibly focused and locked on his killer's as he falls backwards. The scumbag is startled, he runs out to the backyard where 2 other men are loading up their truck with stolen items, one of them is trying to wash the blood off of his face. Beside him is a large knife.

SCUMBAG 1
There's someone here

The men drop what they're doing in a panic and rush to their weapons. There's confusion.

SCUMBAG 1
He's inside with the girl, I don't know who he was. I shot him in the head, he's dead.

The night is dark, the house is almost pitch black. One can barely make out the figures as they cautiously stalk the house towards the room where the mysterious stranger had been murdered. The soft light of the room with the two bodies illuminates the group as they inch closer, they see the body of the girl first and don't even react. Towards the far wall they see the slumped body of someone else, dressed all in black.

His upright feet obscure their viewpoint, they move closer...there's movement. They all ready their weapons and step forward, the scumbag with the shotgun is forced to take point. As he gets closer he see's clearly that the man on the floor is breathing, he's breathing very fast. There's a growling sound, something primal and inhuman. He spasms, his growling gets ferocious. He's waking up.

The two man in back's faces have gone white. They recognize the mask, they know exactly who this is. They are in BIG trouble.

"IT'S COCKROACH, RUN!!!!!!!"

To be concluded.

-APE-

I HAVE A RECURRING DAYDREAM

I have recurring daydreams. I find myself daydreaming all the time, I have several favorites that I like to visit and I decided to try to bring one of those characters to the surface. I've always liked the idea of a brutal killer, a tortured wreck and a punisher who has an unbelievable affection towards victims. He's not a good person but he connects at times with the scared and hopeless who have no one protecting them from bullies. He hates bullies, he bullies them and as far as he's concerned he's the only one allowed to be a bully because he's the best at it anyway. I don't want to blurt out too much about him, I am just going to try writing him. Just force him out of my head on onto this blog. Here's Cockroach. He'll look cooler if someone who can actually draw took a crack at him. Anyone? It would really help me out.

A man in a torn up and tattered black ski mask is lying on the floor staring into the eyes of a woman who is in the last moments of her life. She's trying to speak, she looks sad and is trying to speak her last words. The man speaks.

"Do you know who I am?"

The woman nods her head in recognition.

"Then you know you don't have to worry about those men anymore."

The women tries to move and lets out a whimper.

"Don't try to move, it just makes it worse."

Tears trickle down her face.

"Don't be scared. I've been where you are hundred times. Don't be scared of dying.
Does it hurt?"

She whimpers yes.

"That goes away soon. I want you to close your eyes"

She whimpers no, she's scared and her eyes are getting glassy.

"I am sorry I didn't get here sooner. Sometimes bad things have to happen first for me to find the bad guys"

She's fading, she smiles.

"It doesn't hurt now does it? Good Sweety. You'll like this part, everything slows down now, you can step outside yourself. It feels like the first time you've ever really been conscious. You're seeing the people you love aren't you? "

 She smiles, she cries.

"Keep thinking about them, let that feeling of calm come over you. That's always my favorite part"

She starts to finally fade.

"I promise I'll torture those men for you"

She smiles. She dies.

CONT'D