Tom Persists

I am back on this romantic comedy idea. I know I need to write a feature length movie script, its a goal of mine to write several movie scripts so I should probably get started on it.

Instead of staring at a blank computer screen I decided to plot it out by hand using my only table and sticky pads. I have act one sort of plotted out, I am trying to get at least a rough plot breakdown finished this week because I really need that table back. I spilled soup on my stomach earlier today, a direct result of not having a usable table.

Here's a one sentance tagline for my romantic comedy idea: What exactly are we calling 'internet stalking' these days?

REVISIT: The Time I Wrote A Horror Movie About Being Lost At Sea And Stalked By A Seamonster.

 

I used this blog to write a short horror movie once, I say "short" because the script is less than 20 pages but I swear to god when I read it back it's a feature length film in my head.

It was a slow burning creepy sea monster movie, relying on the vulnerability and horror of being alone at sea for much of the terror. This is the story of poor Darcy who's beautiful husband Cade takes on a honeymoon sail around the world. It was meant to be their first adventure together, it was their last. Cade disappears at sea, leaving Darcy all alone. Stalked by something in the water.

"The disbelief hits her, it only took a few panicked seconds for her to search the small boat and he's nowhere to be found. She runs out onto the bow, her head spinning. He has to be in the water, he HAS to be in the water. She screams out again and again at the top of her lungs until her throat is coarse. 

Darcy

CAAAAAADE!

Silence. Darcy is frozen where she stands, silently begging Cade to show himself. She runs over to the radio; it's been destroyed by the storm. She goes back into the boat and tears it apart, looking for anything but finding nothing, no sign of where Cade went. She cries and screams until finally passing out from the stress."

http://tcqscripts.blogspot.com/2013/07/lurking-everything-right-up-until-post.html

MONOLOGUE MONDAYS - A Guy Who Says He's A Vampire Get's Called A Poseur.

VAMPIRE WANNABE

Yeah fine, believe what you want to believe but I never said vampires couldn't go in the sunlight. I said we don't LIKE the sunlight. It's bad for our skin, I just make that noise and run away from it when we go outside because I just...I hate it that much. It's gross, *HISSSSSSSSSSSSS. This doesn't prove anything! Close those drapes and about that ice cream cone, that doesn't prove anything either. I never said I ONLY drink blood, I said I MOSTLY drink blood. You never see it because obviously I don't do it in front of you, when I am around you I drink beer, I eat cobb salad sometimes and YES I have some Oreos or a half-moon or a muffin at my desk but I drink human blood ALL the time when I am at home. So, you know what...forget about me drinking this blood you got me. Not because I don't love blood, obviously I love blood but I am not going to just drink this to prove a point to you. That's GROSS by the way, bringing me a vial of blood to drink. I said I was hungry for blood as a joke, I didn't think you'd pull some out of your pocket. I already drank a bunch of blood in the bathroom and just didn't tell you. I don't tell you every time I drink someone's blood, so get out of here with these allegations. I told you, I don't feel the need to prove myself. Back in my old town I used to have to turn into a bat all the time for people just to prove that I was a vampire, it was demeaning. That's why you've never seen me do it, I promised myself I'd only turn into a bat when no one's around. So f**k off with this judgement Stephanie! 

-END-

I am Just Going To Level With You...

 I hate the romcom I am writing, it's not working. Having the characters meet online seemed like a good idea because that's how everyone meets these days but the way it's playing out on paper won't work on screen. I don't even know where I am going with it and I am not motivated to see this story's finish. If I am struggling to come on here and write (and I am, mightily) that that to me is a very clear indication that this story isn't worth writing. Everything good that I've ever written has poured out of my head and onto the page fluidly, with almost no effort. I never felt like I had to turn the bottle upside down and bang on it to get the words to come out but that's how I feel right now. I am scrapping this script, I know I can do better. I need to find a story that writes itself, I want to be excited about what I am working on.

Tom WILL write a romantic comedy, he just needs to come up with one first.

In the meantime, here's a real life text I got that's funnier than anything I've come up with so far.

Tom's Rom-Com. Part...3?

Alright, this is slow going but I am slowly plugging away at it.

Here's what I have previously

"MONDAY"

Andy is working at his desk, typing away at his computer. His phone sits at his desk beside him. He keeps glancing at it.

Narrator/Andy: Monday. We texted back and forth all weekend. We started talking on Saturday and I already know where she works, where she went to school, her favorite bars, what music she listens to, what she likes to do on weekends...and she knows all that stuff about me. Well obviously I lied about what I do with my weekends, I am not telling her I laid on my couch for two days. I made something up.

Andy's phone buzzes, he stealthily picks it up, it's from Cassie. He smiles.

Narrator/Andy: Look at that smile. It happens every time my phone goes off, Cassie's like Christmas. Each text is a new present to unwrap. 

Andy looks up from the phone for just a second to see a coworker staring sternly at him, taking note of his casual cell phone usage during business hours. He puts down his cell and goes back to work, feeling frustrated that he can't check his phone. He's like a junky thinking about his next fix, Andy tries to work through his urge. 

The phone buzzes again and Andy doesn't even hesitate, in one motion he locks up his desk, scoops up his phone and walks to the washroom. He finds a stall, takes the time to put down a sani-seat and sits down on the toilet, pants on.

He checks his phone, he smiles.

Narrator/Andy: (Doing a Cassie impression) "Hey Andyyyyyyyyyy. I am so busy today, we're overbooked and I am doing double the work. I had to be in at 6am today :( Anyway, I needed a distraction and I thought of you." Aww, you see what's happening here? She needs a smile and she came to me. Goddamn it that made my day.

Andy responds and then stands back up to leave the stall, he stops himself.

Narrator/Andy: Actually, shit. I can't really go to the washroom later if they all saw me go in here just now. Hold it in later or try to make something happen now? Hold it in later or go now?

Andy starts to undo his belt and unbutton his pants.

Narrator/Andy: Ugggggggg, alright. 

Cont'd...

That's a good place to stop, right? Women like seeing guys use the toilet in romantic comedies don't they?

I Made a Book of Poetry Once. It Was Dope!

Tom's Rom-Com

To follow along with this story you can either scroll down a couple entries and read parts 1 and 2 or click HERE.

Con'd... 

 

Andy's sits up on the couch and picks up his phone. The light of the screen softly illuminates his face against the dark of the room. Andy takes a closer look at Cassie's profile, he glances through her profile and smiles. He flips through her pictures and smiles even harder. He looks at her message.

CASSIE

(text)

Hey. I am Cassie how are you?

NARRATOR/ANDY: This chick has to be fake, right? Beautiful women aren't sitting around on a Saturday night messaging strangers are they? They're supposed to be out, having strangers buy them drinks and throw themselves at them all night. I am being catfished, I know it. I shouldn't even bother responding...on the other hand those pictures...

ANDY

(text)

I am good, I am just chilling with friends. What about you?

CASSIE

(text)

I am just watching a movie right now with my friend. I was supposed to go to a club but we decided not to. Thank god!

ANDY

(text)

Why?

CASSIE

(text)

I hate clubs :)

NARRATOR/ANDY: Marry me. 

ANDY

(text)

Marry me.

CASSIE

(text)

Haha. K. 

ANDY

(text)

What are you watching?

CASSIE

(text)

Archer. Have you seen it?

NARRATOR/ANDY: Oh my god, I love her already. If this girl ends up being some dude then I am going to kill him.

ANDY

(text)

Love it!

Cassie?

CASSIE

(text)

What?

ANDY

CASSSSIE?

CASSIE

(text)

:) What???

ANDY

(text)

CASSSSSSSSSSSSSIEEEEEEEEE???

CASSIE

(text)

LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

ANDY

(text)

Danger zoneeeee.

CASSIE

(text)

HAHAHA OMG. LOL. YES!

NARRATOR/ANDY: Yeahhhhh, you kind of had to watch Archer to get that one but trust me, it was funny. AND SHE GOT IT! I made a dorky, obscure reference to an episode she may or may not have seen and she actually got it. She LOL'd. 

CASSIE

(text)

Haha. I don't want to keep you from your friends so I'll let you go. I just wanted to say hi.

Talk later? 

ANDY

(text)

Definitely

The phone fades back to black and the room falls dark again, Andy is alone and it's quiet. The soft light of the room just illuminates enough of Andy's face to see that the smile on his face still hasn't faded as he falls back to the couch.

Cont'd

 

-APE-