TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Add Tension

I've been working on this script:

http://tcqscripts.blogspot.ca/2014/12/i-am-not-weirdo.html

I've written other scripts which you can see all over this blog but this is my first feature length script attempt. The idea is that I write a page a day (but who am I kidding), I blog each page as I go because this way I feel more of a push to actually do it. Its easier than staring at a word document. If no one ever reads this blog (as I expect) then it doesn't matter, at the end of this I'll have a movie script written. For the record, I have no idea what you do with a finished movie script, that's a later Thomas's problem.

This has nothing to do with the script but

god help whatever kid drew this. 

INT - DAYTIME - KITCHEN

A week has passed, the once scattered living room looks settled, the boxes are all put away. Douglas has settled in. His game system is hooked up in the living room, his belongings have woven their way into the house. This looks like a shared home.

There's a tension in the room, Douglas is sitting at the table, flipping through a magazine, Abigale is making herself a snack. Her back turned towards Douglas.

ABIGALE

I don't know why you can't just say you did it? It bothers me that you'd try to lie about it.

DOUGLAS

I didn't even know you had a diary until you accused me of this just now.

ABIGALE

How did it end up in the nightstand on your side of the bed?

DOUGLAS

I have a SIDE of the bed? I didn't know that. I just plop down wherever.

ABIGALE

STOP trying to be funny right now.

DOUGLAS

I am not. None of this makes sense, if I wanted to read your diary I wouldn't put it in some nightstand beside the bed. I'd put it back EXACTLY where I got it from.

ABIGALE

I am not even saying you read it. It just drives me nuts that you won't just admit you moved it. This didn't even need to become a fight.

DOUGLAS

Well then lets not make it one. Lets just say we have ghosts and forget about it. 

ABIGALE

Stop making me sound crazy. I write in my diary every night and I put it back in my dresser when I am finished.

Douglas sees something in her eyes and hears it in her voice, she's freaked out. She sounds like someone under a lot of stress.

DOUGLAS

One time I came home to work to find my TV remote in the fridge. Sometimes people put things in weird places and don't even notice. I am sorry I don't remember moving your diary, maybe I did. I definitely, 100% did not read it.

ABIGALE

I don't want to fight; Douglas. I just want to know that you're always telling me the truth.

DOUGLAS

I always am. Are you ok with me living here? You seem...frazzled.

ABIGALE

I feel frazzled. I just want this to work.

DOUGLAS

I want this to work.

ABIGAL

Then just tell me you moved my diary. 

Douglas looks at his woman and considers his answer for a second. Then takes one on the chin.

DOUGLAS

I moved  your diary.

Abigale looks at her man, there's doubt in her eyes.

...Cont'd

I am Just Going To Level With You...

 I hate the romcom I am writing, it's not working. Having the characters meet online seemed like a good idea because that's how everyone meets these days but the way it's playing out on paper won't work on screen. I don't even know where I am going with it and I am not motivated to see this story's finish. If I am struggling to come on here and write (and I am, mightily) that that to me is a very clear indication that this story isn't worth writing. Everything good that I've ever written has poured out of my head and onto the page fluidly, with almost no effort. I never felt like I had to turn the bottle upside down and bang on it to get the words to come out but that's how I feel right now. I am scrapping this script, I know I can do better. I need to find a story that writes itself, I want to be excited about what I am working on.

Tom WILL write a romantic comedy, he just needs to come up with one first.

In the meantime, here's a real life text I got that's funnier than anything I've come up with so far.

Tom's Rom-Com. Part...3?

Alright, this is slow going but I am slowly plugging away at it.

Here's what I have previously

"MONDAY"

Andy is working at his desk, typing away at his computer. His phone sits at his desk beside him. He keeps glancing at it.

Narrator/Andy: Monday. We texted back and forth all weekend. We started talking on Saturday and I already know where she works, where she went to school, her favorite bars, what music she listens to, what she likes to do on weekends...and she knows all that stuff about me. Well obviously I lied about what I do with my weekends, I am not telling her I laid on my couch for two days. I made something up.

Andy's phone buzzes, he stealthily picks it up, it's from Cassie. He smiles.

Narrator/Andy: Look at that smile. It happens every time my phone goes off, Cassie's like Christmas. Each text is a new present to unwrap. 

Andy looks up from the phone for just a second to see a coworker staring sternly at him, taking note of his casual cell phone usage during business hours. He puts down his cell and goes back to work, feeling frustrated that he can't check his phone. He's like a junky thinking about his next fix, Andy tries to work through his urge. 

The phone buzzes again and Andy doesn't even hesitate, in one motion he locks up his desk, scoops up his phone and walks to the washroom. He finds a stall, takes the time to put down a sani-seat and sits down on the toilet, pants on.

He checks his phone, he smiles.

Narrator/Andy: (Doing a Cassie impression) "Hey Andyyyyyyyyyy. I am so busy today, we're overbooked and I am doing double the work. I had to be in at 6am today :( Anyway, I needed a distraction and I thought of you." Aww, you see what's happening here? She needs a smile and she came to me. Goddamn it that made my day.

Andy responds and then stands back up to leave the stall, he stops himself.

Narrator/Andy: Actually, shit. I can't really go to the washroom later if they all saw me go in here just now. Hold it in later or try to make something happen now? Hold it in later or go now?

Andy starts to undo his belt and unbutton his pants.

Narrator/Andy: Ugggggggg, alright. 

Cont'd...

That's a good place to stop, right? Women like seeing guys use the toilet in romantic comedies don't they?