Tom's Rom-Com. Part...3?

Alright, this is slow going but I am slowly plugging away at it.

Here's what I have previously

"MONDAY"

Andy is working at his desk, typing away at his computer. His phone sits at his desk beside him. He keeps glancing at it.

Narrator/Andy: Monday. We texted back and forth all weekend. We started talking on Saturday and I already know where she works, where she went to school, her favorite bars, what music she listens to, what she likes to do on weekends...and she knows all that stuff about me. Well obviously I lied about what I do with my weekends, I am not telling her I laid on my couch for two days. I made something up.

Andy's phone buzzes, he stealthily picks it up, it's from Cassie. He smiles.

Narrator/Andy: Look at that smile. It happens every time my phone goes off, Cassie's like Christmas. Each text is a new present to unwrap. 

Andy looks up from the phone for just a second to see a coworker staring sternly at him, taking note of his casual cell phone usage during business hours. He puts down his cell and goes back to work, feeling frustrated that he can't check his phone. He's like a junky thinking about his next fix, Andy tries to work through his urge. 

The phone buzzes again and Andy doesn't even hesitate, in one motion he locks up his desk, scoops up his phone and walks to the washroom. He finds a stall, takes the time to put down a sani-seat and sits down on the toilet, pants on.

He checks his phone, he smiles.

Narrator/Andy: (Doing a Cassie impression) "Hey Andyyyyyyyyyy. I am so busy today, we're overbooked and I am doing double the work. I had to be in at 6am today :( Anyway, I needed a distraction and I thought of you." Aww, you see what's happening here? She needs a smile and she came to me. Goddamn it that made my day.

Andy responds and then stands back up to leave the stall, he stops himself.

Narrator/Andy: Actually, shit. I can't really go to the washroom later if they all saw me go in here just now. Hold it in later or try to make something happen now? Hold it in later or go now?

Andy starts to undo his belt and unbutton his pants.

Narrator/Andy: Ugggggggg, alright. 

Cont'd...

That's a good place to stop, right? Women like seeing guys use the toilet in romantic comedies don't they?

Tom Writes a Romantic Comedy

 

I don't like this picture either but I wanted to use a drawing of a couple for this post and if you think it's easy to find a drawing anywhere online of a couple that ISN'T done in Japanese Anime THEN YOU TRY.

I am going to write a romantic comedy.

I am going to write a romantic comedy and I am going to make it as real as possible. I hate romantic comedies; that's why I want to write one. I always hear people say that romantic comedies represent to women their perfect fantasies, that's why all the women are well educated, successful, flawlessly beautiful career driven women who have great friends and families but are missing that ONE special thing in their lives; a man who's ruggedly handsome and incredibly stylish who is both incredibly smooth and adorably able to laugh at himself because being charming is effortless to him. He's very successful but has a really chill job where he plays pool in the middle of the office, has tons of free time and hangs out with his boss like they're best friends. It's all horses**t. Who lives that life? Who's first date involves walking onto the floor of Madison Square Garden and playing a game of strip horse? Who's first date involves going backstage at the art exhibition where you get to meet all the artists and get invited to a lavish penthouse party? It's hores**t. You know what a first date is? A coffee in a small cafe and maybe a walk. It's going shopping together and struggling through awkward conversation until you finally start clicking. It's pretty rare that anyone ever walks up to a total stranger and has a perfect little conversation with her and how many couples do you know do crazy, goofy things like spontaneously running backwards through a street or have a cute little food fight in a restaurant booth? If you do know a couple like that; in what world are they anything but insufferable?

If you can't relate to the movie then how can it be an escapist fantasy?

 Seriously, it's SO hard finding pictures to accompany a post about romantic comedies.
What do I even type into google? 'Romance' 'Couple'?

I've hated almost every romantic comedy I've ever seen so I figure I should probably try to write one myself.

Here's my Rom-Com idea:

Brandon is madly in love with his girlfriend Mika and is finally invited to meet her friends, he hopes he can win them over because he knows how much they mean to her. He can't. At the diner party he clashes with every single one of them, by then end of the night Brandon can honestly say he genuinely hates every single one of them and he knows the feeling is mutual. Mika's friends mean the world to her and Brandon feels a distance growing between them as she's forced to constantly choose between her boyfriend and her friends. Brandon decides to right his wrong by winning over the affections of a group of people he absolutely can't stand, who absolutely can't stand him.

Or something like that, I don't know. I am going to play with it a little and use this blog to work on it but for real; there are no good pictures to go along with this subject matter so I don't know what I am going to do about that.

People. Until next time, have a good morning beautiful day.

-Thomas Holler-