I came up with a written short series that costs nothing to shoot. It's made to look like one friend just pulled out his phone and started filming his other friend to show the world what a huge hater he is. It's meant to be the absolute cheapest, simplest, low maintenance, funny internet series I can possibly think of. Each episode would be a dissection of why this guy hates on different things.
Andre is pointing an iphone at Conrad. Conrad is on camera.
Andre is pointing an iphone at Conrad. Conrad is on camera.
(voice off camera)
Yo. This is my friend Conrad, he's the biggest hater in the world.
ANDRE
Why are you filming this?
Conrad pulls out his phone and starts filming back at Andre
Why are you filming this?
Cut to a shot from Conrad's perspective, Andre on camera.
CONRAD
(off camera)
For legal reasons. I don't trust you. I want my own copy of what's going on here.
ANDRE
(speaking to the audience)
See what I am saying? Watch this.
Conrad, why do you hate my friend Rondell?
Andre's perspective.
CONRAD
Who's Rondell?
ANDRE
(off camera)
You met him a few times. He was at my house when you came over to watch the Raptors game.
CONRAD
I honestly don't know who Rondell is.
ANDRE
(off camera)
You told me you don't like him because of his jeans.
CONRAD
Oh that guy. Yeah. I don't like him. So?
ANDRE
(off camera)
You said it was because he wore those faded jeans.
CONRAD
It wasn't JUST those jeans.
He wore other jeans that pissed me off, he wore those jeans with the big red patches that other time.
Conrad's perspective.
ANDRE
So?
CONRAD
( off camera)
Why does he do that?
ANDRE
That's just his style, that's what he likes.
CONRAD
(off camera)
Who needs to spice up their jeans that much? I don't like it.
ANDRE
ANDRE
You're the fashion police? If someone doesn't dress how you like then you hate them?
CONRAD
(off camera)
It's not only about his jeans. He did other stuff.
ANDRE
Like what?
CONRAD
He kept asking if he could have my Oh Henry bar.
ANDRE
(laughs)
Oh yeah.
Andre's perspective.
CONRAD
Remember that? I met up with you guys after the gym. I had an Oh Henry and he kept asking if he could have it.
ANDRE
ANDRE
(off camera)
I remember that. He only asked you twice though.
CONRAD
CONRAD
Why would he even ask me once? Obviously I bought it because I wanted it.
ANDRE
ANDRE
(off camera)
Yeah that was weird, you still don't hate someone over that though.
CONRAD
CONRAD
What kind of dick asks you for your chocolate bar?
I told him the first time "uhhhh no. I bought this for myself" and he still asked me again later.
ANDRE
I told him the first time "uhhhh no. I bought this for myself" and he still asked me again later.
ANDRE
(off camera)
And that's it, now you hate him?
CONRAD
The chocolate bar thing really did it.
Conrad's perspective.
ANDRE
Wow.
So now you legitimately hate this guy?
CONRAD
CONRAD
With good reason.
ANDRE
ANDRE
Because you don't like his jeans and because he asked you if he could have your chocolate bar.
CONRAD
CONRAD
(off camera)
A couple times he asked. It's not like I had a whole bunch of chocolate bars either, I had ONE in my hand. Screw him.
Andre's perspective, we end with the shot of Conrad with Andre's voice over.
ANDRE
That's my friend Conrad, biggest hater in the world.
-END-
So each episode would be a discussion on why Conrad hates something, Conrad hates everything and everyone due to the smallest of infractions.
No comments:
Post a Comment