A story writing blog

Monday, September 2, 2013

Wolverine Making a Sandwich, Manly Bubble Baths and Beard Stubble So Strong It Can Strip Paint

Remember this image, it'll make sense later

I've had the girliest night for the manliest of reasons. If someone were to have been watching me for the last couple hours they would rightly so be questioning my manhood. So far I've had a nice bubble bath and then curled up with a big tub of yogurt and almonds and watched every episode of Total Divas.


Ok; first off there's nothing sensual about my tub, it's gross and I hate my bathroom. I made myself a nice warm bath because my back muscles hurt and I knew it would feel like heaven, I had every right to add bubbles and I don't feel like I have to explain myself to you. Did I enjoy it? Yes. I work out a lot and my rippling muscles get sore, ladies you can understand that. I will say this about baths, when I was finished my bath I felt the need for a shower. Bath water is like this disgusting bodily soup that you're just marinating in, it's gross.

The yogurt and almonds aren't comfort food to me, quite the opposite. I am trying to gain weight but I have such a small appetite, I am never that hungry. I can get by just fine on two meals a day and maybe one snack, when you're 6'4 and trying to add muscle that's just not enough. I should be eating like 4-5 meals a day. Sometimes I have to force feed myself, that means I am jamming on almonds and yogurt without enjoying it. I love yogurt, I love almonds, mix 'em up and it makes for a great little snack but not an hour after you just had a big chicken dinner. I know trying to lose weight must suck but trying to gain it isn't any picnic either.

Finally, why did I invest 2 hours of my life in an E! Network reality show about the lives of WWE Divas? This is why:

and she has a twin

Anyway, as a writer I am interested in learning to write copy. Copy is an advertising term, it's the text or the initial written idea for whatever you're trying to market. I am screwing around with writing up mock advertising campaigns for different products. Today I am trying to come up with a campaign and commercial for Gillette shaving products.

Gillette - 'For Even the Toughest Shaves"

The ad campaign's goal is to spotlight how Gillette shaving products will smoothly glide through even the grizzliest of men's beards as easily as Wolverine's claws cut through butter when he's making himself a sandwich. To illustrate the point this campaign will spotlight some improbably tough beards being cleanly shaven, comedic exaggerations of how stubbly a beard can be. Stubble so tough you could scale a fish with it. Stubble so sharp and strong that it shreds apart your pillow each night. We'll show stubble so prickly that you could use it to shred stolen credit cards being effortlessly shaved away without any irritation using Gillette products.

In my commercial we see a man in a parking lot get attacked by a mugger, the man has nothing to defend himself with except his stubbly, razor sharp beard.

Gillette: Even the Toughest Shaves. 30 Second Internet/TV Commercial

INTERIOR/PARKING LOT/NIGHT: A man is walking through a lonely parking lot, it’s dark and frightening. He’s tense as he walks to his car.

Echoing footsteps, ominous music

Wide: As he passes a row of cars a figure appears behind him and starts to follow him

Two sets of echoing footsteps, chase music

He picks up his pace, eventually leading to him running full speed for his car, he doesn’t look back.

Tense music

Finally he’s at his car, he fumbles for his keys nervously. Suddenly he’s grabbed from behind. He drops his keys.

Sound of keys jingling and falling, two men struggling.

The two men wrestle

CLOSE UP: The man has been grabbed by someone, he’s totally unarmed. He looks around for something to defend himself with but finds nothing. Thinking quickly he instinctively defends himself with the one thing he has, his freakishly scratchy stubble.

He slaps his cheek against his attacker’s cheek and pulls backwards, scraping his beard along the attacker’s skin. The attacker falls back in agony and runs off, the man is left alone to collect himself.

He runs his fingers along his beard and gives a look that says “oh wow, I didn’t realize my stubble has gotten this bad. Eww, I need a shave”

Wrestling, exciting music

A man’s voice shouting out in pain

INTERIOR/WASHROOM SINK: Back at home the man is using The Gillette® Fusion® ProGlide™ Power Razor, to shave away his unruly stubble, revealing a soft; smiling face underneath.

(V.O) The Gillette® Fusion® ProGlide™ Power Razor is Gillette’s most advanced blade ever**. Thinner, finer blades give you an effortless low-resistance glide through even the toughest hair with less tug and pull. Gillette, for even the toughest shaves.

No comments:

Post a Comment