A story writing blog

Sunday, March 22, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: and sometimes it gets a little boring.

So. This entry's going to be boring. I've reached the halfway point on my script (fist pump) and now its time for me to build towards the big moment of this movie. The shift. The climax. The WTF moment.

Unfortunately in order to get there I have to nudge the pieces into place. I need to slow things down a little and get my characters into place. I need to build to this moment organically and give my characters a chance to breath and be people before kicking off my next big shakeup. So here's today's entry. This is Abby showing you that she's determined to get her life back to normal, without Douglas.

If you're interested in reading the whole script up until this point it can be found right HERE.





INT - ABIGAIL'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Abigail is up early despite only getting a few hours of sleep the night before. She looks out of her bedroom window, its a beautiful day. Abigail puts on a pair of slippers and heads out into the hall. Out in the hall she stops in her tracks, down the hallway is a room that still scares her. Its the room where she found the dolls torn apart, the twisted writing that littered the walls has been hastily rolled over with a coat of paint. Abby hurries down the hall and closes the door, that room still unnerves her. The house is very quiet.

Abby heads downstairs to the kitchen. She's startled to see the pantry doors wide open, her body freezes. Something about it looks wrong, the boxes of food look like they've been torn into in a rush. Emptied. Nothing else on the scene seems off, there's no other sign of a break in. Abigail grabs a granola bar out of the pantry and closes it. Soon she's off to work.

INT - ABIGAIL'S OFFICE

Abigail walks across her company's busy main floor to her office, the crowds and familiar faces provide comfort for Abigail now. She feels safest at work when she's surrounded by coworkers. Abigail says her hellos while dropping off her things at her desk, she collects her favorite coffee mug and heads for the kitchen. 

BRYCE
Oh good. You made it.

ABIGAIL
 Hello. 

BRYCE
Hey Abby.

ABIGAIL
Yeah I made it. Sort of, I didn't really sleep.

BRYCE
But you did it. You made it through a whole night alone in that big house. 

ABIGAIL
Yup. I am a big girl.

BRYCE
Hey, don't dismiss that accomplishment Abby. I know I was against it last night but what you did, spending a night in that house alone...it was one of the bravest things I've ever seen.

ABIGAIL
Thank you. 

Abigail pours herself a cup of coffee, then offers Bryce a refill on his. He extends his cup, taking her up on the offer. 

ABIGAIL
Hey while you were going through the house last night, do you remember grabbing a snack from the kitchen?

BRYCE
No. Your dad was the one who checked the kitchen. Why?

ABIGAIL
Nothing, I just...I just forgot to buy groceries I guess.

 BRYCE
Well why don't I help you with that after work?

Abigail hesitates, she's careful to keep her distance with people at the moment. Still feeling like she needs to be by herself for a while, to put the pieces of her life back together before moving on.

BRYCE
Come on. We'll load up. I'll make dinner.

ABIGAIL
Bryce...

BRYCE
I am not asking for a date. I just want to help.

ABIGAIL
Ok...dinner actually sounds amazing. Thanks Bryce.

BRYCE
(smiles)
Anytime.

Abigail heads back to her desk, Bryce takes a minute to enjoy his coffee before heading back. He wanders over to the window. Directly across the street is same coffee shop Douglas was seen loitering at earlier.

Cont'd...

Loitering at?



Sunday, March 15, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Focus on the girl.

My name's Thomas. I am writing my first movie. I post everything as I go and collect it all HERE. Or look around a little, I've written shows, shorts, and articles all up in this blog before tackling this movie script business.

Douglas and Abby were madly in love. Douglas had just moved into her beautiful family home in the country, they were happy. Until one day she accused him of mutilating and violating her dolls and writing psychotic messages all over the walls. Douglas is pretty sure he didn't do that. Abby seems absolutely sure that he did. 
Here's today's page:



EXT - ABBY'S DAD'S HOUSE

Abby's car pulls into a small driveway outside of a modest one floor house. Inside the car she collects her things, before reaching for the door handle Abby stops herself and pulls down the overhead mirror. She see's her scar, it's looking more pronounced than before. The makeup has worn off a little. She starts to touch it up with some powder she takes from her bag.


HONK!

The sound of a carhorn behind her startles Abby, powder is flung into the air. Filling her lungs. She starts to choke and quickly exits the car.

BRYCE
Abby!

Bryce emerges from the truck behind Abby's and runs to her. 

BRYCE
Are you ok?

ABIGAIL
Yeah, pffffffffffttt...
That horn just made me jump and I got makeup in my mouth.

BRYCE
My fault. I am sorry.

ABIGAIL
It's ok.

Abigail hugs him.

ABIGAIL
Thank you so much for coming.

BRYCE
Of course Abby but...I don't think you should be doing this.

ABIGAIL
I knowww. My dad keep's saying that.

BRYCE
Your dad might be right.

ABIGAIL
My dad hasn't slept since I've been staying here. He stays up all night, everytime a car's headlights pass by he has to look out the window. If I want things to go back to normal then things have to go back to normal.

BRYCE
Yeah but...

ABIGAIL
I haven't heard from him in weeks, and we changed the locks. 

BRYCE
I don't like it.

ABIGAIL
I need to go home. 


Bryce can see that she means it. 

Off camera a door swings open. The pair turns to see Abigail's father Richard. He has a concerned look in his face.

INT - RICHARDS HOUSE

Inside Richard's small home boxes are everywhere, they're being filled by Abigail and Bryce. Richard isn't helping, he's actively trying to get her to stay.

RICHARD
One more week!

ABIGAIL
Will one more week actually make me any safer?

RICHARD
Yes! 

ABIGAIL
Ok. I get it, I am scared to go back too but I have to. I haven't been alone in weeks. I need to be by myself, I need to be somewhere where I can just cry and process everything that happened. I need to go home.

Richard relents.

RICHARD
I am going to be checking on you, keeping an eye out for anything. I'll drive past every couple hours,

ABIGAIL
You don't need to do that.

RICHARD
It's happening.

BRYCE
Abby?

Abigail turns her attention back to Bryce.

BRYCE
I think we're good here, I think we can get this in one trip.

Abby gives her father one last reassuring look before picking up her box and heading out the door.

On the drive up the men keep suspicious eyes on every car that passes.

INT - ABIGAIL'S HOUSE

Inside the house Abby waits with the boxes in the front hallway, Richard and Bryce are going through the house. They look under every bed and inside every closet. Bryce rushes back up from the basement holding his nose.

ABIGAIL
Told you.

Bryce takes a second to catch his breath.

BRYCE
I didn't see anything down there. Shelves, a cot, Christmas decorations, lots of garbage.

Richard emerges from one of the rooms and comes down the stairs.

RICHARD
I think we should do one more sweep, you check all the rooms I checked and I'll check yours.

ABIGAIL
You both looked everywhere. I saw you look underneath the dresser. He's not a hamster; dad.

RICHARD
Just for tonight maybe I should stay on the couch.

ABIGAIL
I love you dad. No.

RICHARD
Then let him.

BRYCE
I don't mind.

ABIGAIL
Thank you. But no. Please.

Bryce and Richard share a concerned but defeated look. Eventually both giving Abigail a strong hug and well wishes before departing. Abigail closes the door, alone in the house for the first time since the attack.

INT - ABIGAIL'S BEDROOM

Abigail settles into her bed, it's dark and very quiet. She's visibly nervous.

She hears a car approach, the sound startles her and she jumps out of bed and heads to the window. She's shaking. 

As the car pulls around the dark corner she feels relief when she recognizes that it belongs to Richard. Her dad's doing just what he said, he's keeping watch. She heads back to bed and forces her eyes closed. 

Darkness.

...CONT'D

Monday, March 9, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: This this is my life now.

Once again...

My name's Thomas. I am writing my first movie. I post everything as I go and collect it all HERE.

Douglas and Abby were madly in love. Douglas had just moved into her beautiful family home in the country, they were happy. Until one day she accused him of mutilating and violating her dolls and writing psychotic messages all over the walls. Douglas is pretty sure he didn't do that. Abby seems absolutely sure that he did. 

When it's finished I guess I'll try to send it out there, I actually have no idea how to do that but let's take it one thing at a time here. Here's today's page.



Cont'd...


GRANT
What can you do? She thinks you're trying to kill her. Her dad put a gun to your head and told you to keep away and the police are watching you.

DOUGLAS
Still though.

GRANT
Go back to work. Give it some time.

DOUGLAS
Fuck work.

GRANT
Doug, step away from this for a bit.

DOUGLAS
Step away? She broke her face!

GRANT
That's MY point. She BROKE her own fucking face. This is a bad situation, back the hell away. I know you love this girl and I know your heart is broken and I know you're worried about her but you need to leave that girl alone. She's psycho. She's legit psycho. Stay away from that girl.

DOUGLAS
It's easy to say that..

GRANT
Stay away from that girl!

DOUGLAS
I can't.

GRANT
Stay the FUCK away from that girl.


Douglas doesn't respond. 

GRANT
Don't FUCK your life up. Stay away from that girl!

INT - A COFFEE SHOP

Douglas pick up his order at a coffee shop and sits by the window. He's wearing a pair of sunglasses and his beard has grown in a little. Its bright by the window, he puts on a cap. He sits looking out the window, eyes trained on the door of an office building across the street. He watches people coming in and out, smiling. It's striking to him how carefree they all seem, its something Douglas is envious of.

Then SHE comes out the door.

Douglas' face saddens. She still has a bruise over her eye, it's been touched up with makeup but it's noticeable. Her coworkers hug her meaningfully, as though they all know what's happening and are being extra supportive of her. A few of them walk her to her car, they're keeping an eye out for anyone suspicious. For the first time it occurs to Douglas that there are people out there who think that he's a predator. A complete psycho who attacks helpless women. He pulls his hat down lower on his face and breaks his stare with the window. He tries to look casual, he takes a sip of coffee. Outside the window Abby hugs her coworkers goodbye. She takes one last look around before getting into her car and driving away. Douglas watches her pull away.

Cont'd...

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Exposition.

Ok back to it. So for all of the none of you that actually read this here's what I am doing.

I am writing my first movie.

Brief Synopsis:
  
'Douglas wakes up one morning confronted by his girlfriend accusing him of tearing apart and molesting her favorite dolls. She thinks he did it, he thinks she did it. WTF?'

Here's everything so far:

http://tcqscripts.blogspot.ca/2014/12/i-am-not-weirdo.html 


INT - GRANT'S LIVING ROOM

Douglas wakes up on Grant's couch. His head is pounding, his eyes are bloodshot, he's disheveled, hungover. It hurts to move. Douglas fumbled around at the coffee table in front of him, it's littered with garbage. He finds a half empty bottle of water and downs it, he managed to get to a sitting position. He sits, holding his head and breathing heavily for a minute before trying to stand up. Douglas struggles to his feet.

Standing up now Douglas can see out the window into the front yard, his truck is parked right in the middle of Grant's front lawn. Grant's garden doesn't look so good.


DOUGLAS
Shit.

GRANT
Yeah shit.

Douglas turns to see Grant, he's carrying a cup of coffee.

GRANT
Drink some fucking coffee. Idiot. 

DOUGLAS
I am sorry.

GRANT
What the fuck were you doing driving last night?

DOUGLAS
I don't know. 

GRANT
DRINK!

Douglas drinks his coffee, his takes a seat. 

GRANT
What happened?

DOUGLAS
I went home. I went to Abby. I got arrested, they told me she got attacked last night. They think it's me. She has a broken eye socket.

GRANT
The..........seriously?

DOUGLAS
She didn't see her attacker. 

GRANT
It's hard to see imaginary people.

DOUGLAS
How would she even do that? Break her own eye socket?

GRANT
She punched herself.

DOUGLAS
Hard enough to break the socket?

GRANT
Maybe she hit herself with something, or she threw herself into a wall. 

DOUGLAS
She hits herself in the face with like...a rock, then she gets back in bed and waits for someone to find her? Why?

GRANT
I don't know. 

DOUGLAS
Are we really thinking she's that far gone?

GRANT
...I don't know.


 Douglas's leg bounces with nervous anxiety. 

DOUGLAS
I talked to her. 

GRANT
Really? When?

DOUGLAS
I called her from the bar. She said I was a mistake.
 Bryce is with her.

GRANT
Well...She's his problem now.

DOUGLAS
FUCK YOU!

GRANT
I am sorry dude. I know this sucks, in fact this is honestly the shittiest thing I've ever heard but seriously, I don't want you going back to her. 

DOUGLAS
FUCK YOU! We were laying in bed together only a couple days ago. I was planning to marry her. You think I can just turn that off and say "Ah fuck it, let Bryce have her. She's crazy"? You think I can let this go? She BROKE her fucking EYE!

Grant has no response.

CONT'D

Monday, February 16, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Go back and fix crap.

So I finally read over what I have so far, I feel like I am missing a scene. I need something to help build up this tension that's set to boil over between my couple.

Hence, today's page. I'll sandwich it in somewhere near the beginning.



INT - KITCHEN

A pot boils on the stove.

DOUGLAS
Ok, throw them in.

Abby is holding two large lobsters.

ABBY
I am having second thoughts.

Douglas laughs.

DOUGLAS
I knew this was going to happen. I told you in the store. I knew you'd bond with them by the time we got home.

ABBY
Arrrrgggg...I really want lobster too.

Abby looks at the two lobsters, all tied up and at her mercy. 

ABBY
Uggg...why did I name them?

DOUGLAS
Why don't you give them to me and leave the room.

ABBY
Nooooo. I know what you're going to do with them.

DOUGLAS
I am going to cook them. That's why we bought them Abby, you were so excited in the store.

ABBY
I knowwwwwww...I am being weird. 

DOUGLAS
Can I have them?

ABBY
No.

Douglas's body language registers frustration but on him face is a big smile. He can't get mad at that.

DOUGLAS
You know we can't keep two pet lobsters, right? They would just die anyway Abby.

ABBY
Why can't we just let them go? We can take them to the lake.

DOUGLAS
Abbbbbbbyyyyyyy...this is adorable but I really don't want to do that. This was my dinner too, I was excited.

ABBY
 But think about how mean that is. Peter and Pepper will thank us, we can save them. It'll be like a Disney movie. The first half of the movie will be about how they got caught and forced to survive in that aquarium at the restaurant. Watching their friends being chosen and then eaten in front of them. 

DOUGLAS
This is dark.

ABBY
Yeah! And then it gets really dark when a young couple comes into the restaurant and chooses both of them. At least they get to die together; they think.

DOUGLAS
Jeez.

ABBY
But then at the last minute the couple looks at them and see's how in love they are and how scared, so they decide to let them go. They give them a  new life in a beautiful lake with lots of food. All because they had a last minute change of heart.

DOUGLAS
I am not sold. Do you even know for sure they they're a boy and girl?

Abby doesn't.

ABBY
(unconvincingly)
Yes.

DOUGLAS
Abby you're cute. But I want to eat these guys.

ABBY
Oh come on. You love animals as much as I do.

DOUGLAS
Yeah?

ABBY
And I don't see you being able to eat Petey and Pepper, now that...

Douglas takes them away from Abby and puts them right into the boiling pot in one cold motion.

DOUGLAS
Wanna bet?

Abby is shocked. She can't believe that Douglas could be that callous. 

The pot screams.

INT - THE KITCHEN TABLE

Douglas as Abby sit across from each other at the table, not speaking. Douglas is enjoying his lobster, Abby hasn't touched hers.

Cont'd...


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Ouch...

I am at aboouuuuut the quarter mark of my first movie script, so far my rough plotting has worked out pacing wise. That surprises me, I thought I'd screw that up more.

Brief Synopsis:
  
'Douglas wakes up one morning confronted by his girlfriend accusing him of tearing apart and molesting her favorite dolls. She thinks he did it, he thinks she did it. WTF?'

Here's everything so far:

http://tcqscripts.blogspot.ca/2014/12/i-am-not-weirdo.html  


Douglas gets into his truck and drives. He has nowhere to go, he lost his home and his woman who he's worried sick about but can't go near for risk of being thrown in jail. He punches his steering wheel, he screams and he cries. 

INT - A DINGY BAR - MID-DAY

Douglas sits slumped in a bar stool, his nose bandaged sloppily, he's drunk. The bar he's in is a dive, the kind of bar you can walk into at 11 am and get drunk with a group of sad strangers in. A sombre tune plays in the background. Douglas sits; his eyes staring forward but vacant, locked on something unseen. He's lost in his thoughts, playing the last few days over and over in his head. His empty drink is refilled.

INT - A DINGY BAR -EVENING

Douglas is in the same spot hours later. Douglas' eyes sit fixated on a payphone in the corner. 

INT - ABIGAIL'S HOUSE

Abigail is sitting at her coffee table, she's not alone. The police weren't lying, her face has suffered a fracture. Her eye is blackened and her cheek is swollen but in that typical Abby way, she still looks cute. Her phone rings, unknown caller. She knows it's Douglas, she tenses and then answers against her better judgement.

Silence.

DOUGLAS
Abby?

ABIGAIL
Why are you calling me?

DOUGLAS
What do you mean why am I calling you? 
Two days ago we were in bed together. Our bed.

ABIGAIL
The police told you not to contact me.

DOUGLAS
They told me you got attacked.
 Abby what happened?

Abigail doesn't answer.

DOUGLAS
Abby how did you get hit?

Abigail doesn't answer. 

DOUGLAS
Abby they think it's me. Can we please talk?

ABIGAIL
No Douglas. I don't ever want to see you again.

DOUGLAS
DON'T SAY THAT. Abby, god damn it. We both know it isn't ME who hit you last night.

ABIGAIL
...what?

DOUGLAS
I love you so much Abby. How could you honestly believe I'd hit you? You KNOW I didn't. You know it.

ABIGAIL
Stay away from me.

DOUGLAS
I CAN'T Abby. You're sick and you're hurting yourself.

Abigail starts to shake. A voice calls to her.

DOUGLAS
Is that your dad?

ABIGAIL
Its Bryce. Bryce is with me, he's here to keep me safe from you.

Douglas falls silent.

ABIGAIL
You were my biggest mistake. I was so wrong about you. I am glad I found out when I did, now I want to forget you. I never want to see you again.

Abigail hangs up. Douglas holds the phone to his ear in stunned silence until the dial tone stops.

Cont'd...


Sunday, February 1, 2015

TOM WRITES HIS FIRST MOVIE: Everyone is against you.

I am writing my first movie...kinda winging it.

Brief Synopsis:
  
'Douglas wakes up one morning confronted by his girlfriend accusing him of tearing apart and molesting her favorite dolls. She thinks he did it, he thinks she did it. WTF?'

Here's everything so far:

http://tcqscripts.blogspot.ca/2014/12/i-am-not-weirdo.html 




INT - GRANT'S LIVING ROOM  - MORNING

Grant is passed out in his chair, beer bottles are all over the table in front of him. Douglas is sitting up, he's been awake all night. The morning sun is just starting to set.

Douglas has been up waiting, when the sun breaks he can't wait anymore. He gets up and takes the car keys from off of the table in front on Grant and makes his way out the front door. Outside the truck is parked haphazardly, half on the driveway and half on the front lawn. The back of the truck is smashed in, the bumper is dangling. Douglas pays it no mind, he climbs in and starts the engine, the bumper drags along the ground as he pulls away.

It's a long drive to Abagail's house outside the city, it takes a nervous hour and a half for him to finally reach the lonely turnoff onto Abagail's road. When his car makes the turn Douglas notices a police car pull up behind him. Soon he's flanked on either side by police cruisers demanding him to pull over. When Douglas complies he's told to get out of his vehicle.


POLICE OFFICER
STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE WITH YOUR ARMS RAISED.

Douglas
What did I do???

POLICE OFFICER
STEP OUT NOW!

Douglas steps out of his truck and is immediately tackled and hand cuffed, he's violently picked up and thrown into the back of the police car.

INT - POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM

Douglas looks exhausted, he's sitting in a chair being grilled by a no nonsense cop. 

COP
Last night Abagail was attacked in her room while she slept.

DOUGLAS
What?

COP
Last night after you had your altercation with her and her father where you were asked to leave for doing...unsavory acts, she was left alone in her house where she claims someone hit her in her sleep.

DOUGLAS
Her father left her alone???

COP
He's the one who found her the next morning, with a broken eye socket and a mild concussion.

DOUGLAS
How could she do that to herself?

COP
Herself? 

DOUGLAS
She's sick. You have to help her.

COP
We are helping her. Infact we're looking at the prime suspect in this assault right now.

DOUGLAS
I wasn't there!

COP
No, according to your statement you were with your friend Grant all night. Yet when we found you, you were alone speeding towards Abagail's house.

DOUGLAS
Its still my home. All my stuff's there.

COP
Any dispute over your belongings is between you, her and the courts. The property belongs to Abagail, any attempt to access her property will be considered an intrusion.

DOUGLAS
Where's Abagail?

COP
Do you think I am going to give you that information. We're going to serve your with a restraining order that says you have to stay at least 50 feet away from her at all times. 

Douglas can't process all this information, his life has utterly crumbled in the last 24 hours. It shows.

COP
I will let you know that she's going to be ok. She's very shaken, she's very scared of you but she's going to be ok. We're here to make sure of it.

DOUGLAS
If you really think I did it then why don't you just arrest me already?

COP
The only reason you aren't in one of those cells right now is because she didn't see her attacker.

DOUGLAS
Are you sure there was an attacker?

COP
Are you asking me if I think she broke her own orbital bone and then went back to bed?
(he stares hard at Douglas)
No. I don't think that. I think you did it, I think you have a key, I think you came back in the middle of the night and I think you hit her with something with the intention to kill her.

DOUGLAS
But I'd know I am the most obvious suspect. You really think anyone could be that stupid?

COP
Not stupid. Like you said, sick.

DOUGLAS
What now?

COP
Like I told you, we don't have enough evidence to press charges. You can go.

Douglas stands up to be let out of the room.

COP
Make sure your leave your new address with our detectives before you leave, and make sure you never go anywhere near that girl or her house again. I am serious.

DOUGLAS
How do I get my things?

COP
Call a lawyer.

A buzzer sounds and the door out of the room opens, Douglas leaves. Still trying to process everything that's taken place. He's led out the front door back to his truck.

Cont'd...